The 5 Pillars is a project that I have been working on for almost two years and had a great time with the official launch of “The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership” Coaching program on May 23th.

Why the 5 Pillars?  I have spent more than 30 years in the business world and although it has been primarily in the Construction world, the 5 Pillars philosophy works across all industries.  In fact, while developing this program I realized that it can have a significant impact on your personal life as well.

I will break down each Pillar into three sections, personal, business and community. Any growth or improvement needs to start within, with the end goal of influencing the community you live in.  In this post we will take a look at PERSONAL COMMUNICATION.

Whoever said “Communication is the key to everything” was right.  Effective communication skills not only will deliver your message correctly, but will allow you to continue to move in a positive direction towards your goals.

CHARISMA

Charisma is the unique quality that some people have that enables them to add expression such as body language and tonality to the way in which they communicate.  Clearly some people are more charismatic than others, but we all have the ability to express our words in a passionate way.

PREPARATION

Nothing is worse that listening to someone who has no idea what they are talking about.  Actually there is one thing worse … when they act like they do know when they don’t.  If you are not prepared to speak or answer intelligently, don’t!

ENTHUSIASM

Unlike charisma, enthusiasm is simply being excited about what your communicating.  I believe charisma is something you have but enthusiasm is contagious.  Be enthusiastic in your communication and others will be as well.

LISTENING

Listening is the most important part of communication.  When we listen to what is being said we show respect.  We also actually understand better what is being said by keeping our mouths closed.  Focus on the individual that is speaking and let them finish before you interject.  I was once told, “don’t write yourself into the story, let the person you are speaking with do it for you.”

INTUITION

I believe intuition is most powerful when we are good listeners.  Intuition is the product of our life experiences that have been stored away in our subconscious as manifested by a triggering event.  We all have it, but it takes awareness to access it.

AUTHENTICITY

Nobody likes a fake.  If you come across as authentic, people will value your words or your message.  If you do not appear authentic, you will lose the interest of your audience fast and forever.

PATIENCE

Remember that listening thing?  Sometimes it requires a great deal of patience to hear another person out.  We have a tendency to want to interject with the “genius” contribution we just came up with.  Be patient and let the other person finish and you will gain their confidence in you.

HUMILITY

Be willing to admit your mistakes and do not boast of your successes.  Humility is a great way to show others that you are sincere and truly care.  The opposite side of humility is arrogance.  Have you seen anything good come from that lately?

HONESTY

Honesty is the best policy.  You never have to remember the truth and once you are viewed as an honest person, you become an influential person.  People won’t buy in to what you are doing if they don’t buy into you.

The 5 Pillars coaching program will take each topic to a much deeper level.  We will explore open ended questions and how they are directly impacting your life and more specifically in this segment, will allow you to evaluate and understand your role in growing your business.

In the mean time, start asking the type of questions that will result in better answers. When you ask “How can I”  you get an answer that will move the needle.  “What can I do today to improve the way I communicate with others?”  Answer that question, act on it, and you will succeed.

RELATED:

• Click here to see Part 1
• Click here to see Part 2
• Click here to see Part 3
• Click here to see Part 4
• Click here to see Part 5
• Click here to see Part 6
• Click here to see Part 7
• Click here to see Part 8
• Click here to see Part 9
• Click here to see Part 10
• For more on The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership and to view my video click here
• To view my guest post in the 2013 International Leadership Blogathon click here

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Barry Smith    6/20/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership – Part 11: My Communication appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

When I last left you, we had finished up our training and were headed to an indoor arena to celebrate what had just taken place.  When I walked into the arena, I was amazed to see thousands of people already inside. Two marching bands played at the bottom of the stands as we walked into the arena to take our seats front stage.

Several spoke but it was John Maxwell and Manuel Espina (President of Guatemala Prospera) that were the focus.  Recognition and appreciation were conveyed and the team was honored by being invited to the stage to receive a standing ovation from the attendees.

John told the Guatemalan audience that their Country was chosen to be the first to experience this transformation not only because they wanted and needed it, but because they were ready for it.  I wounder who else is ready.

From there, we traveled to Antigua for a private celebration that included our team along with our translators.  It was very rewarding to me personally that our translators were included in this as they were so much a part of the success and experience of the week.

The venue for this final chapter “in Country” was incredible.  Convento Santa Clara, a five hundred year old structure in the heart of Antigua, was something I have never experienced before.  This was my first time out of North America and it was probably twice as old as anything I had seen before.

The events of the evening included an amazing meal, music, more acknowledgement of the efforts that went into the events of the week and a slideshow that once again brought everyone to tears.  So much happened this week and it will no doubt be weeks, or months before it all sinks in.

Chances are very good that we will return to Guatemala but as the night came to a close, we all understood that there were some goodbyes that would be forever.  That being said, the people we met and the Country of Guatemala will be in hearts forever.

I received an email from Anai, my translator for the first two days, on Sunday wishing me a Happy Father’s Day.  A week ago, I didn’t even know she existed and now, she will be a part of my thoughts every time I look back on the incredible change that took place in my life this week.  Anai is just one of many that impacted me this week and helped me to realize how much more I have to give.

That giving starts today.  My family, my friends and my colleagues will all notice a difference.  John Maxwell once told us “You cannot give what you do not have.”  This week I realized that “you don’t know how much you have until you start to give.”

I am back home now and find it hard to focus at times as even the smallest of things take me right back to Guatemala.  My life changed this week along with thousands in Guatemala.  What we did this week was significant and I am grateful for everyone that made this possible and experienced it with me.

“Feliz Nuevo Dia” or Happy New Day, was an expression that was used often last week. A new day it is, and with that I wish you all happiness and gratitude for being part of this journey with me.

• Click here to read Day 1
• Click here to read Day 2
• Click here to read Day 3
• Click here to read Day 4
• Click here to read Day 5
• Click here to read Day 6
• Click here to read Day 7

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Barry Smith    6/18/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

The post Guatemala – Let The Future Begin! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Then it struck me like a blow to the head.  This is exactly what I have been training on.  Growth takes stretching.  Did I mention the presentation also would be reduced by an hour because of our schedule for the day?  This all happened within an hour of our presentation.  Solution … Adapt and Overcome.

I couldn’t have asked for better results.  Anai was able to work with two of my team mates and they both let me know later that she had done a great job for them as well.  Our translators did a great job and allowed me to meet some more great young kids making a difference in their Country.

Oh yea, what happened to me … Well I ended up teaming up with my roommate, Bob DiGiacomo and we teamed up with some of our closest friends on the team, Bob and Nancy Kittridge, to go speak to two groups at a local fire station.

I was the only one of the four of us that had not served in the fire industry but compensated with telling stories about working close with our public servants.  I was accepted right away.

Some of these firefighters came from as far away as 5 hours.  You can imagine the typical distractions in a fire house.  Bells, flashing lights, fire trucks blasting out of the station.  We even lost one guy after one of the alarms.  Bell and light went of and away he went – fast.

My first two days of training went without a glitch.  Today was full of challenges and worth every minute of it.  Once we got into the exercises, these guys, and two women, seemed totally engaged.  I didn’t have to understand the language to see that there were some real conversations taking place.

One thing I did with each group this week was ask them to close their eyes and picture their children (or loved ones, but most actually had kids.)  Then after about 10 seconds of silence, asked them to visualize the world they would like their children to grow up in and remained silent for about a minute.  This was a very powerful exercise each time and I think it let the participants know that this was not just another “how to” of “self-improvement” training.  This would be different.

After the training the atmosphere seemed electric as these public servants realized their lives had changed and so will their Country and they will be part of that change.

During the second half of our discussion I noticed that a little boy had come into the room.  As it turned out, he was the son of one of the female firefighters.  You can think what you want, but I know it was a higher power that brought that little guy into our room.

He and I had a great conversation for a few minutes and even though we were only able to understand a few of each other’s words.  We laughed, smiled and high fived just like I did with my kids when they were that age.

As we closed out the presentation, I could not help myself but to walk over and stand with my new little buddy and did my best to get out these words.  “You see this little guy?  This is why we are here in your Country.  You have an opportunity to create that world that you saw with your eyes closed earlier this morning.  Will that be worth the commitment to do what you have to do to make this happen for this child and all the children of Guatemala?  I believe in all of you and I believe you will do it.”

I believe in that moment, every person in that room got it.  Many of the participants wanted pictures and some even wanted email addresses so they could stay in touch with us.

I find it difficult to hold back the emotion as I reflect on what happened a few minutes later as we were getting ready to leave.  I felt a tug at my shirt and as I turned around, there he was – my new little friend.  The future of Guatemala with his arms stretched out in the universal language of “I want a hug.”

I dropped to by knees and embraced that little guy.  The station Chief was nearby and gave me the gift of a lifetime by grabbing the camera out of my hand and to create a permanent record of the defining moment.

Earlier this week I posted the following thought … “How do you put in words something you have never done before, that made you feel like you never felt before, in a place you’ve never been before, with people you’ve never met before?”  Today I received the answer to my question.  You don’t use words.

Guatemala changed this week and “La Transformación está en mí” has just begun!

• Click here to read Day 1
• Click here to read Day 2
• Click here to read Day 3
• Click here to read Day 4
• Click here to read Day 5
• Click here to read Day 6

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Barry Smith    6/15/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

The post Guatemala – This Is Just The Beginning! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

As my translator Anai and I entered our transport vehicle this morning, the driver told us we would be headed to a record store and sure enough, after about 30 minutes, we arrived at Casa Instrumental.

We walked into the office area above the showroom to await our coordinator and I honestly was unsure who we were to be training today.  Our coordinator greeted us and directed us out a back door.

What came next was the last thing I expected.  We entered the instrument academy.  The most amazing school for music I have ever seen.  We saw individual rooms for every kind of instrument.  Sound rooms with more electronics that I had ever seen in one place and décor so full of color and life that it made you feel like you were on a movie set.

We soon found out that we would be training teachers, managers and human resource staff at the most prestigious instrumental music academy in Guatemala.

The theme followed much like yesterday.  High engagement and high emotion.  The response was similar as well.  An incredible need for mentoring and leadership with everyone we worked with.

Some of the participants were hesitant to partake in the interactive part of our training.  With a little encouragement, they finally made it to the front of the class.  I asked them when we were done if they had been scared?  Yes.  Did they learn something about themselves?  Yes.  Were they glad they did it?  Absolutely!

Again, with an absolutely incredible job of translation by Anai, we witnessed transformation right before our eyes.  Several participants approached us afterwards to thank us and shared a unified new attitude of achievement.  “We will do this.  We will change our Country.  We will not let you down.”

I explained to them that their focus needed to be not to let themselves down.  Not to let their families, friends and co-workers down.  They understood what I was saying.

After the training session, we were able to tour some more of the facility and found out that the Guatemalan version of American Idol was filmed at this location in their auditorium.  We were actually able to see some of the contestants practicing for the taping next week that will be aired on local television.

It has added so much to this experience to see the environment that the locals live in every day.  Part of me will remain with the people of this Country forever.  The images etched in my mind will not be forgotten, nor will the lives we have seen changed.

Our team dinner tonight, was again filled with great stories of change and a soccer ball signed by the entire team that was presented to John.  “I will put this in my office where I can see it every day to remind me of the greatest leadership week in my life,” John stated as he held the ball in his hands.  He added that this week has been an “outward experience resulting in an inward journey.”  I couldn’t agree more.

Tomorrow, we train in the morning, followed by a stadium event with attendance predicted in the thousands celebrating transformation.  That will be followed by an event outside of the City which we are told is one of the most beautiful places in Guatemala.

We do it one more time tomorrow.  It will be difficult to sleep tonight knowing that the world will change again for so many once again tomorrow and that I will be blessed to be part of it.

“La Transformación está en mí.”

• Click here to read Day 1
• Click here to read Day 2
• Click here to read Day 3
• Click here to read Day 4
• Click here to read Day 5

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Barry Smith    6/14/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

The post Guatemala – An Outward Experience For An Inward Journey appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

The truth is I don’t know how to explain it.  How do you explain something that you have never done that made you feel like you’ve never felt in a place you’ve never been with people you’ve never met?

Today I realized what significance really means.  Lives were changed today, including mine.

For about three and a half hours, I trained on laws of growth and personal values with the objective of training about 35 leaders that have committed to bring these ideas and skills to hundreds more.

My only worry going into this first session was that I would be able to connect with these people that did not understand the language I speak.  I could not have asked for a more capable and passionate translator.  When I met Anai this morning, I immediately was put to ease.

Anai, a twenty one year old college student who lives just outside of Guatemala City, told me she wants to get her masters degree in language translation in Chicago and then return home so that she can help support her family.  That was all I really needed to hear.

She was amazing.  Somehow, we moved through the material like we had been practicing together for a long time.  I found it interesting how much different communication is when you have to depend so much more on body language to connect with your audience.

Have you ever had the complete attention of someone you are speaking to even though you know they don’t understand a word you are saying?  Let me tell you, it is extremely powerful!

Our preparation time paid off and I know that those future agents of change not only understand the responsibility they have as leaders now, but also that the hope, or ESPERANZA, of transformation in Guatemala is now reality.  I heard so many amazing stories from my colleagues, many of them describing adversity that was overcome during the process.

Failure was not an option for us today, and I honestly believe this Country will refuse to fail as well.  The outside world has showed up and believed in them and they now believe in themselves.  They will do this.

We finished up with cheers of “La Transformación está en mí.”  Everyone in that room left a different person than when they arrived.  I believe this is the beginning of something much bigger than what will be accomplished this week.

Upon returning back to the hotel, we found ourselves in the company of several of the orphans that we had brought gifts for.  No words can describe the light in the faces of these kids as they took turns selecting from the mountains of crayons, stuffed animals and coloring books.

The picture is of me with some of my new friends.  These boys were some that traveled four hours to be here today.  How was your day?

We finished up the day with a team review of the events of the day.  More amazing stories shared by some of my teammates.  Then John Maxwell stepped to the podium.  You could see and feel the emotion within him as he told us that today was one of his finest moments.  The feedback already received included a request by President Pérez Molina asking John to train his entire cabinet.

This was the one, however, that brought everyone to their feet.  “Once you get a taste of significance, you will never settle for success.”  Today we were significant.  Today, Hope or “Esperanza” is no longer what might change this country.  It is what WILL change it.  Tomorrow, we do it again.  Can’t wait!

• Click here to read Day 1
• Click here to read Day 2
• Click here to read Day 3
• Click here to read Day 4

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Barry Smith    6/13/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

The post Guatemala – The Word Of The Day “ESPERANZA” appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Today was the first day that we had the opportunity to really connect with the local residents that are helping out.  This morning we finalized the training we will be doing and then spent the second half of the morning with our translators.

It was quite the site to see over 150 local translators enter our room to a standing ovation.  The local residents and Government have done nothing but show us an immense amount of gratitude and appreciation since we arrived.  It was our turn to show our appreciation.

You could see the emotion in their faces as we honored them for their efforts and willingness to give of themselves in this massive effort.  As we paired up and began to go over the procedure for coordinating the same message in two languages, we could not help but inquire into their story.  What brought them into this process?

As you can imagine, they all had different stories that brought them “into the room” this morning.  These volunteers ranged from professional translators to 17 year old high school students that have been prepping for this huge task for weeks.

I was surprised at how well almost all of them spoke English and the young man, Rodrigo Hernandez, that I connected with was no different.  Rodrigo is a 23 year old college student studying to be a surgeon.  He has been translating at his church for a few months and works at a call center at one of the local telecommunication businesses.

I listened intently as he shared the journey that put us together.  His mother, also a translator,  has been translating for several years and I wish you could have seen the look on her face as I told her how impressed I was with her son.

I found it very interesting that the common theme amid these bi-lingual partners was not that they were concerned about translating our words, but translating our emotion.  I understood immediately as Rodrigo described what life has been like for him growing up in Guatemala.

This country is so incredibly passionate about the potential change about to take place and the next three days. I believe it will be unlike anything most of us have experienced before.  I won’t pretend to know what it has been like for the people we will be speaking to but they will know that I believe in them and in their cause to change a Nation.  They will know that as well before I head home later this week.

The day ended with an eye-opening trip across town to the Presidential Palace.  About 400 people, including our team, gathered to hear from Guatemalan President Otto Pérez Molina, Guatemala Próspera President Manuel Espina and John Maxwell.  The atmosphere was intense as a picture of transformation of a Country was painted by these three men.

We were able to view a good portion of the palace and the rich history of this Country only reinforced our desire to make a difference.  It was almost surreal, at least for me, to be an acknowledged guest to such a momentous occasion.

This day is engrained in my memory for several different reasons but I think something the President Pérez Molina said put everything in perspective for us.  He closed his speech by making the following statement; “The best way we can say thank you is to show you the transformation.”

Take a minute and think about that statement coming from the President of Guatemala.  He wants to say thanks to us by improving his Country.  That is what I call leadership!

• Click here to read Day 1
• Click here to read Day 2
• Click here to read Day 3

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Barry Smith    6/12/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

The post Guatemala – Yesterday Ended At Midnight, Today Is A New Day! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Personal growth changes the way we think and from my experience, we gain the understanding of how important it is to use the gifts that we have to help others.  Once we see the value of how personal growth can positively impact our lives, we develop the desire to help others experience the same transformation.

We all want the world to be a better place, right?  Think about it – if we can help create a better environment for others, we are actually creating a better environment for ourselves.

John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth gives us seven suggestions to help cultivate an attitude of contribution:

1.  BE GRATEFUL

You cannot add value to others without an attitude conducive to doing so.  The best way to maintain a positive attitude is to be grateful for what you have been blessed with.  When you are feeling discouraged, challenge yourself to think about someone not as fortunate as you.  My guess is it won’t take very long.

2.  PUT PEOPLE FIRST

We have to put people first.  At the end of the day, nothing else matters.  Keeping your focus on people will lead you down a path of fulfillment and success.

3.  DON’T LET STUFF OWN YOU

All the “stuff” that we posses really doesn’t do us any good unless we have someone to share it with.  Consider the reason, “the why”, that creates the desire to have stuff.  I am not saying there is anything wrong with material possessions, simply consider what it is that you are doing with them to add value to others.

4.  DON’T LET PEOPLE OWN YOU

If you don’t plan out your life, someone else will and most likely, their agenda will be more about them than it will be about you.  Ultimately, you are in charge of your time.  If you feel like you are living by someone else’s schedule, it might be time to get a new calendar.

5.  DEFINE SUCCESS AS SOWING, NOT REAPING

Are you a producer or a consumer.  OK, I know what you are thinking … we are all consumers.  Agreed.  However, are you consuming more than you are producing?  If you continue to take more than you give, eventually there will be nothing left.  Give more than you take and there will always be some left over for when you need it.

6.  FOCUS ON SELF-DEVELOPMENT, NOT SELF-FULFILLMENT

We should strive to improve every day.  It has been said that the average adult reaches only ten percent of their potential during their lifetime.  That means that we are missing out on ninety percent of the opportunities available.  Is that really the legacy you want to leave behind?

7.  KEEP GROWING TO KEEP GIVING

Take a look at how you are spending your time every day.  Are you doing things that will help you grow?  Have you created a life that allows you to give when you want?  I think most people enjoy giving, but unless there is growth, the resources are simply not there to give.

So here we are – the end of the series on the 15 invaluable laws of growth.  I hope this has been beneficial to all of you and that you have different look on how important it is to take care of ourselves and create a foundation to live by that will make each day better than the last.  My final thought is this:

If you really want to grow, take a look at the people you are spending most of your time with and the books you are reading.  I can pretty much guarantee you that the influence of those two things will produce the environment that you find yourself in.  Is your environment  conducive to growing or will it keep you in hibernation?

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Next Up:  Join me in a 4 week series on TRUST based on ‘The Trust Edge” by David Horsager

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   1/16/13       photo by author

The post The Law Of Contribution – Grow Yourself To Grow Others appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

As I have gone through my own growth journey over the last few years, I have learned (many times the hard way) that quality is better than quantity and that quantity only matters if it is productive and relevant.

This has been a very hard lesson to learn and honestly, I am still working on it.  I have probably set the most aggressive set of goals for myself in 2013 that I ever have.  That being said, I have the confidence to achieve them because of what I have learned from my studies and training.

I have found that it all starts with the expansion of our thinking and when we properly apply this thinking into action, we find a level of growth never achieved before.  John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth gives us six things to consider when expanding:

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR THINKING CAPACITY

1.  STOP THINKING MORE WORK AND START THINKING WHAT WORKS

Eight percent of your productivity is done in twenty percent of your time.  Take a hard look at what is working and focus more time on it and less on what is not working.

2.  STOP THINKING CAN I? AND START THINKING HOW CAN I?

We usually answer the question asked.  When you use “Can I?” you only have a 50/50 chance.  When you use “How Can I?” you simply need to determine the way to succeed.  The accomplishment is already acknowledged.

3.  STOP THINKING ONE DOOR AND START THINKING MANY DOORS

Consider that there is more than one answer to the question.  Put the time into looking at different options but don’t feel like you need to wait for the perfect one.  Proceed strategically and intentionally as soon as possible.

HOW TO INCREASE YOUR CAPACITY FOR ACTION

1.  STOP DOING ONLY THOSE THINGS YOU HAVE DONE BEFORE AND START DOING THOSE THINGS YOU COULD AND SHOULD DO

If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have been getting.  The only way to get different results is to change what you are doing.

2.  STOP DOING WHAT IS EXPECTED AND START DOING MORE THAN EXPECTED

If you want to set yourself apart from all the rest and achieve great things you need to raise the bar.  Under-promise and over-deliver and you have paved the road to success.

3.  STOP DOING IMPORTANT THINGS OCCASIONALLY AND START DOING IMPORTANT THINGS DAILY

Understanding what is important is crucial to achieving your goals.  A written plan to track your progress is a critical element in your achievement.  Someone holding you accountable will increase the likelihood of achievement even more.

I appreciate what Pablo Picasso said, “I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order to learn how to do it.”  My challenge to you today is to think new thoughts and do something new.  It might just lead to a place you never even knew existed.  How cool would that be?

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Next Up:  Law #15  The Law of Contribution.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   1/9/13       photo by author

The post The Law Of Expansion – Growth Always Increases Your Capacity appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

It does not matter how successful you are and in what area, there is always potential to do even more and achieve new levels of success.  It has been said that you will become the product of the five people you spend the most time with and the books you read.  That being said, you may already have the answer to the question of who your role models are.

So now comes the time to evaluate whether or not these “role models” are going to take you to the next level.  Are these people going to help you grow in a positive way or are they going to hold you back, or even worse, pull you down?  This may be a difficult challenge.  There may be people in your life that are important to you but are doing nothing to help you reach your potential.

What you should really be looking for is one or more mentors.  Someone who is willing to both teach you and coach you towards a desired outcome and lead by example. John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth gives us six things to consider when determining someone we should be following:

1.  A GOOD MENTOR IS A WORTHY EXAMPLE

Any role model you have or seek to have should be an example of what you desire to be.  That being said, remember we may want to be like someone but you need to be yourself.  There is a difference between being like someone and acting like someone.

2.  A GOOD MENTOR IS AVAILABLE

If you are reading someone’s book, this probably won’t apply.  If you are looking for a mentor, consider their availability.  This is going to be someone that you may want to schedule time with or need to make an occasional phone call when an issue comes up.

3.  A GOOD MENTOR HAS PROVEN EXPERIENCE

Does your mentor have a good track record performing the type of support you are looking for.  If someone has demonstrated positive results over an extended amount of time, chances are good that they will help you in your journey.

4.  A GOOD MENTOR POSSESSES WISDOM

Good decisions are key to successfully moving forward in any endeavor.  Wisdom typically comes from experience.  Has this person succeeded in the areas you want to improve?

5.  A GOOD MENTOR PROVIDES FRIENDSHIP AND SUPPORT

Chances are that if you are close to someone, you would consider them a friend.  Friends support and encourage each other.  Look for someone that you can connect with outside of a mentoring relationship.

6.  A GOOD MENTOR IS A COACH WHO MAKES A DIFFERENCE IN PEOPLE’S LIVES

Have the people you are looking up to helped other people?  Do they positively influence others in your community?  Look for someone that has helped other people move towards their potential.  There is no reason not to call other people that this person has worked with to see how they have influenced them.

Just like the law states, we can’t do it alone.  Whatever you are doing or attempting to do, someone else has done it before you and done it better.  A big part of personal growth is finding someone to help you along the way.  Choose carefully, that person just may change your life.

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Next Up:  Law #14  The Law of Expansion.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   1/2/13       photo by author

The post The Law Of Modeling – You Can’t Grow Following Yourself appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

“Why this?” and “Why that?”  I know as adults sometimes we get tired of answering all those questions – in fact , sometimes we don’t really know the answer.  Why do they call it night when it’s dark outside even though it’s part of a day?  My answer to this question would probably be something deep in content like “because.”

There is so much in this world that we have not discovered and it is the curious mind that seeks to learn more.  The more we learn, the more we grow.  How many times do you ask “WHY?” every day?  Do you even take the time to try and learn the things you don’t know or are you simply satisfied with where you are currently at?

John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth gives us ten ways in which we can cultivate curiosity:

1.  BELIEVE YOU CAN BE CURIOUS

Don’t limit yourself as far as asking questions.  For some strange reason, we seem to think that asking questions is a weakness, that it shows a lack of knowledge.  I would suggest that it is the pathway to knowledge.

2.  HAVE A BEGINNER’S MIND-SET

Do you think little kids keep from asking questions because the person they are asking might not know the answer?  No.  Sometimes the difficult question leads to the most meaningful conversation.

3.  MAKE WHY YOUR FAVORITE WORD

What if you challenged yourself to learning why everyday?  If you don’t know, find out.  We don’t know what we don’t know and we will never know what we don’t know until we ask why.

4.  SPEND TIME WITH OTHER CURIOUS PEOPLE

Do you spend time with people who want to know why or do you spend time with people who are satisfied with what they already know?  Maybe you are spending time with the guy who knows it all.  What was the last thing you learned from him?

5.  LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY

Do you learn something every day?  I remember a friend of mine in college who had a bookmark that he used to write down the words he didn’t know or wanted to know more about.  I am pretty sure he learned something every day.

6.  PARTAKE IN THE FRUIT OF FAILURE

Sometimes failure is the best way to experience why.  We have heard it since we were kids “learn from your mistakes.”  There is definitely at least one “why” in every failure.  It would be beneficial to discover the answer to avoid the same failure again.

7.  STOP LOOKING FOR THE RIGHT ANSWER

Do you ever find yourself looking for the answer you want instead of the real answer?  Have an open mind when looking for the meaningful answer to the question.

8.  GET OVER YOURSELF

It is OK not to know the answer.  It is also OK to ask the question that might mean you fail again.  Decide that the discovery of the truth is more important that how you got there.

9.  GET OUT OF THE BOX

There are no rules on what questions you can ask.  Allow yourself to ask the questions that you think may not have an answer.  You might just be surprised at what you learn.

10.  ENJOY YOUR LIFE

New experiences make life an adventure.  Ask the questions that will expose you to something new and don’t settle for what you already know as being enough.

 “Some men see things as they are and ask why.  Others dream things that never were and ask why not.”    –  George Bernard Shaw

Don’t accept things the way they are.  There is so much more to life, more than we even realize.  Challenge yourself to ask questions and don’t stop until you find the answer. It might just lead to something great!

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Next Up:  Law #13  The Law of Modeling.

Don’t miss any of these Invaluable Laws by subscribing at the upper left of this page.

Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page

Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   12/26/12       photo by author

The post The Law Of Curiosity – Growth Happens By Asking Why? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.