Sure this book is about Starbucks, but it’s much bigger than that.  Michelli shows why Starbucks has become the coffee bean superpower of the world.  And it has nothing to do with the beans.  I guess that’s not entirely true, but their success is built much more around who is serving rather than what is being served.

I will admit, I have invested my fair share in the Starbucks brand but I never gave a thought as to what goes on behind the grinder, so to speak.  Michelli explores 5 Principles that give Starbucks the advantage over their competition and I for one, will pay much more attention to what is going on behind the counter next time I visit my local Starbucks.

Definitely a great look at what has made Starbucks so successful, but at the same time, the bar has been set very high for them to continue to live up to their reputation.

In this, the second of three posts, I will recap Michelli’s exploration of Principle 2 – Love To Be Loved and Principle 3 – Reach For Common Ground

PRINCIPLE 2 – LOVE TO BE LOVED

In a word, this section is about trust.  Both trust of the product and the service and more importantly, consistency in delivering them.  It’s not surprising that there is more content about the people than the product in this book.  That is where the trust is built.

Think about when you have purchased a product that you believed in but received less than stellar service.  You might stick with the product, but if your are like me, you will look elsewhere to get it.

“If you select people with genuine talent for serving others, give them opportunities to become more knowledgeable and passionate about your products, and insist upon product and consumer experience excellence, you are well on the way to gaining the pride and passion of customers.”

While in construction, I often chose service over cost because at the end of the day, I needed someone that would deliver WHEN they say they would and make me feel like I was their most important client.  I realize I probably wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be treated like you are.  Truth be told, I was pretty loyal to those vendors.  Hmmmm!

PRINCIPLE 3 – REACH FOR COMMON GROUND

A deep look into the Starbucks way of connecting with their customers, explains much about the forward motion of the organization.  It’s one thing to communicate with your customer, but are you really connecting?  And I’m not just talking about words.

Starbucks looks at ALL aspects of the environment, the architecture of the store, the neighborhood, the customer base, and the competition.  These all factor into the experience that we have when we enter a Starbucks.

“The goal of leadership is to create the right environment for human connection to occur and to help staff members manage the inevitable issues that surface.”

There is certainly risk when you bring the human condition into the business model, but then again, if you want to be the best at what you do, you better be willing to risk something to get there.

I don’t want to feel invisible!

This is probably my favorite quote from this section of the book; “The number one request or desire of every human around the world is to be seen and heard.”  (Tweet This)

TODAY’S QUESTION:  How effectively have you sought partnerships while building your business and have you positioned yourself to provide services or products that are relevant to your market?

Click here to read Part 1

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Barry Smith  4/17/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Leading The Starbucks Way – Part 2; Connecting With Trust appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

This week we had a great call and were honored to have Dr. Kathryn Cramer join us who recently released her seventh book, LEAD Positive: What Highly Effective Leaders See, Say and Do.

The latest in Dr. Cramer’s Asset Based Thinking (ABT) series, LEAD Positive pack a tremendous amount of great content on how to be courageous, resilient, and optimistic as we as leaders, can produce significant and lasting change in both our personal and professional lives.

This book is full of concepts and ideas that will no doubt change the way we think, and result in raising our leadership lid.  Dr. Cramer suggests that we, by nature, are wired to “avoid harm” and therefore react faster to the negative than we do to the positive. Over time, this creates a negative bias in our thinking.  But we have the power to change that!

One of Dr. Cramer’s ABT exercises really caught my attention.  The Scan-Snap-Savor exercise, although simple in concept, has the potential to completely change the way we think.  See what you think …

SCAN

Dr. Cramer suggests that we look for a positive fact that is either happening right now or in our immediate past.  Then focus your attention on one of three areas, self, others, or situation.  In Dr. Cramer’s word’s, “The self scan requires you to look for your own leadership strengths, capabilities, efforts, and skills that are showing up in the present moment to move things forward.”

To me, this sounds like “short-term version of the Law of Reflection.  Dr. Cramer points out that, “The situation scan leads you to zero in on the emerging dynamics working in your favor.”  How cool is that!  All we have to do is think positive and the energy pulled from that thinking will produce positive results.  The power of positive thinking ring a bell for anyone?

SNAP

I recently heard Dr. Cramer describe this part of the equation as taking a mental picture of that positive fact that you focused on the the scan step.  When we develop that positive image in our mind just like downloading pictures onto you computer.  They are stored there for your future use.

Again, a pretty straight forward concept – visually snap the picture and download it to your cranial hard-drive.  (Tweet This)  I see it like this, if you don’t take the picture, you are going to have to recreate the image to access that “positive” memory.  In today’s warp speed society, we simply choose not to take the time or energy to do it and default to the negativity bias we already have.

SAVOR

This is the difference maker.  Before you store away that mental snapshot, spend 30-60 seconds “savoring” it.  Remember a hundred years ago when film had to be developed in a liquid solution?  It had to soak in that stuff until it fully developed.  Dr. Cramer has brought that concept back to life and you don’t even need a dark room.

Follow her advice and, “Let the full measure of the experience sink deeply into your implicit memory.  Savor it.  In less than 90 seconds, you have allowed yourself to step outside the hustle and bustle of the day.“

Dr. Wayne Dyer said, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  Maybe it’s time you trade in that old camera that doesn’t seem to be working for you and pick up a new one that takes the type of pictures that will get you the “POSITIVE” results you have been looking for.

TODAY’S CHALLENGE:  Pick up a copy of LEAD Positive and start using your manual focus option.  You just might like the increased quality of the pictures you’ve been taking!

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Barry Smith  3/26/14   photo courtesy of the Weaving Influence   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Scan-Snap-Savor And Re-Program Your Results! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Stephanie works as a Food and Beverage Supervisor at the World Marriott in Orlando, Florida.  Hmm?  22 years old and a food and beverage supervisor already.  Isn’t that interesting!

Through a connection with one of the chef’s at the World Marriott, we were able to set up a private catered dinner for myself and the event coordinator of the John Maxwell Team.  The John Maxwell Team holds two large events there every year and we were excited at the opportunity to get a look “backstage” with food services.

The service we have received during our visits to the World Marriott has been nothing short of phenomenal, and after our peek at what goes on behind the scenes, it’s easy to understand why.  I won’t pretend to understand what it takes to run a kitchen of this size, but what we saw appeared to be a well-oiled machine, running full throttle, and without a miss.

A big part of the experience was our private server, Stephanie.  Just like with Ben in Las Vegas, I was intrigued by her attitude, professionalism, and self-confidence.  All characteristics I only occasionally see in adults twice her age.  A few of her comments really made me think …

“If you want another course, we will throw it in.”

Logic would suggest that the objective was to take care of a significant client, but the delivery was sincere.  Right from the beginning Stephanie made us feel like the only people in the building.

This was something I have never experienced before.  A specially constructed room built in the middle of the kitchen so we could see everything going on around us but from within an environment built exclusively for a fine dining experience.  I think it’s fair to say that Stephanie really wanted us to enjoy the experience and her commitment to making that so, was authentic and intentional.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!”

Just as in everything we do, things don’t always go as planned.  Upon a minor mishap, exclusive to our private venue, Stephanie immediately apologized, owned it and, most importantly diffused a situation that could have disrupted the entire evening.

In our opinion, it was no big deal, but it certainly could have changed the emotional state and attitude of any person providing service.  I find it interesting how difficult it is sometimes to own our actions and simply say “I’m sorry.”

“I can talk through a brick wall.” (Tweet This)

What a great statement.  My takeaway from this comment … how long could you speak “intelligently” about your profession?  How about in a random conversation with clients or colleagues?  Stephanie spent the entire time in the room with us that night and we spent a lot of time talking about all sorts of topics.  I don’t remember any that went beyond her ability to add value to the conversation.

I am still amazed at the competence and confidence of someone her age and her ability to control the atmosphere of the room.  I suppose you could say that education had it’s benefits.

“I don’t think I have ever said no.”

This was my favorite.  We had been giving her a hard because everything was so amazing and it sort of became a challenge to see if they could actually deliver on “anything” we wanted.  So naturally, a person of my intellect, came up with a great challenge.  “Fresh chocolate chip cookies and vanilla gelato.”  No way they could bust that out.  Wrong!  “No” was not an option.

As I custom desert request arrive, I asked her what they do when they get a request for something they can’t make happen.  Her response, “I don’t think I have ever said no.”  I guess that pretty much sums up the evening!

Do You Want To Be The Best?

It will be a meal I never forget, but something tells me that Stephanie does the same for other people everyday.  I will not soon forget the attitude and effort that went into that dining experience and the real point of the story is that if you want to be the best, you need to act like it – and not just when you have to, but when you don’t.  That’s what will set you apart from the rest.

Like Ben, Stephanie has big aspirations for her career.  She eventually would like to end up in the California wine valley as a wine sommelier.  I know she will make it and she just might be the youngest female to ever become one.  I won’t be betting against her anytime soon.

THE QUESTION:  Are you serving people in a way that represents your best?

THE CHALLENGE:  Do something today that will take your quality of service to the next level.

Read part one by clicking here

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Barry Smith  3/17/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Raising The Bar For Generation Y- Part 2 appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I’m not big into playing the blame game, but because I am in the group that I hold partially responsible for the predicament we are in, I will go ahead and bring it up.  If you are in your 40’s or 50’s, you (we) may have dropped the ball when it comes to the influence we had on the 20 and 30 somethings.

Admittedly I am speaking in broad generalities here, but nonetheless, somebody fell short in teaching leadership skills to the millennials and seeing how we raised them, I guess that makes it us.  Enough said on that, it’s time to look forward and not back.

In my travels to Orlando and Las Vegas over the last three weeks, I encountered two 22 year olds that really impressed me.  This will be a two part post to introduce you to a couple of kids (I can say that because my own kids are 21 and 23) that proved to me that we will indeed, have some solid individuals taking care of us one day.

Sometimes I just walk and think.

Let me introduce you to Ben.  Ben works as a server at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas.  My wife Michelle, was in some classes so I decided to do what I sometimes do, go walk and think.  If you ever have been on the Las Vegas strip, you know how hard it can be to think.  I decided to stop and get some lunch and Hard Rock seemed to be as good of a choice as any.

I got seated and then this younger guy comes over to me and sits down at my table and says “Hi, I’m Ben, what can I get for you.”  His demeanor alone, told me that he was an A game player.  Very self confident and looked me right in the eye when he spoke to me.  You don’t always see that anymore.

He made me feel like I was the only guy in the place.

He was busy, but made it a point to check in on me every time he went by my table.  I was by myself and I am sure he knew that I was not going to be a big ticket item in his section, but he continued to treat me like I was the only guy sitting out on the patio.  I am alwys intrigued by these young “go-getters” and I struck up a conversation with him.  I wanted to know what made this guy tick.

Turns out that his family had a restaurant back in New York that he started working at when he was 16.  Seven months ago he headed west in search of among other things, some nicer weather.  I asked how he got such a good job so quickly being a newbie in town and his response told the whole story.

He had filled out the on-line application for Hard Rock but knew that a face-to-face meeting could make a bigger difference in getting the job.  He intentionally wandered  into Hard Rock one day and was able to speak with a manager.  The manager was immediately impressed and he had his second interview during the same visit.

Shortly thereafter, he was invited for a third interview and a week later was going through orientation.  So what is the point of all this?  Well to me, it’s pretty simple.  Ben decided to happen to life and not wait for life to happen to him.  (Tweet This)  I wonder how many other applications sat on a hard drive while the applicants sat on their couch waiting for a call.

I will never forget that meal.

Ben said he loves the interaction with his customers as much as any part of his job and his actions definitely supported that.  I think most would agree that going out to eat is more about the experience than the meal and Ben made mine memorable.

At only 22, I asked him what he wanted to eventually do, what were his big aspirations?  His response; he wants to eventually get into fine dining.  I didn’t think about it at the time but I would guess it is partially because he will have the opportunity to make someone’s night out a memorable experience that won’t soon be forgotten.

My guess – Ben will be exceeding expectations in some really nice dining establishment someday and probably sooner than later.  Ben was one of those individuals that you can just tell will achieve his dreams.  Ben, at 22, was leading by example in his respective industry, and making a difference in the lives of those he serves.

THE QUESTION:  Do you have clarity on what it is that you want to achieve?

THE CHALLENGE:  Do something today that will get you one step closer to reaching that dream.

Later this week I will introduce you to Stephanie, who works in the world’s largest Marriott.

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Barry Smith  3/11/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Raising The Bar For Generation Y – Part 1 appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Sinek, the author of Start With Why, provides a deep look into what creates the most effective teams and more importantly, what keeps them working together, even during the most difficult of times.

This is one of those books that will take you a little bit longer to read because so many thoughts require you to take another look, just to make sure you understood the power behind them.  A phenomenal effort by Sinek, Leaders Eat Last not only looks at the dynamic of the team but of the individuals that make up that team.

What really sets this book apart is Sinek’s unique look at why some people make good leaders and others don’t and the “why” behind the results they get.  In this post, the first of four, I will attempt to capture the basic thoughts of the eight parts of the book.

PART 1:  OUR NEED TO FEEL SAFE

PROTECTION FROM ABOVE – Sinek starts out the book telling the story of pilot Johnny Bravo and about his courageous actions from the battlefield.  When asked why he risked his own life to protect the lives of his fellow soldiers, he simply responded “Because they would have done it for me.”  Are you willing to do for others what you would expect them to do for you?

EMPLOYEES ARE PEOPLE TOO – The second chapter is built around this great thought from Sinek: “The leaders of great organizations do not see people as a commodity to be managed to help grow the money.  They see the money as the commodity to be managed to help grow the people.”  Imagine that … focusing on people before profits. Isn’t that interesting?

BELONGING – Sinek introduces the concept of a “Circle Of Safety.”  We all want to belong to something and when a culture is created that not only provides the opportunity to be part of it, but also provides security and stability, then engagement, fulfillment and productivity go up as well.

YEAH, BUT … – This is a great chapter.  Sinek explores the idea that it is not extra work and long hours that stress people out, but rather the loss of control.  When we are able to control our environment, we are much more inclined to remain engaged and loyal to our team.

PART 2:  POWERFUL FORCES

WHEN ENOUGH WAS ENOUGH – If you are reading this, you probably already have more than enough.  In other words, your basic needs have been met and you are living more abundantly than most of the people on this planet.  Sinek begins to take a look at the physiological reasons that influence our thoughts and actions.

E.D.S.O. – Chapter 6 provides a clear picture of the four primary chemical incentives in our bodies and what happens when these chemicals are released.

• Endorphins – This chemical masks physical pain.  This is what makes you feel good after strenuous physical activity.
• Dopamine – This is the chemical that makes us feel satisfied, a sense of achievement or accomplishment.
• Sarotonin – This chemical provides a feeling of pride, respect or value.  This builds our self-esteem.
• Oxytocin – This is what enables us to form friendships, feel love, and build deep trust.

Sinek does a masterful job describing how all of these play into our role as a leader.

THE BIG C – No, not that one.  Cortisol is responsible for the stress and anxiety that we feel when something goes bump in the night.  It is our bodies way of telling us that something is not right.  The problem is that although it is a defense mechanism, it also puts strain on our body.  Using it to our advantage is the challenge.

WHY WE HAVE LEADERS – In order to function as a productive team, organization, or community, someone has to make the first move.  Someone has to lead.  Someone has to set a course in a new direction or we will simply exist where we are.  Someone has to make the first sacrifice so others can follow.

I know we are early in the year, but I have a pretty strong feeling that Leaders Eat Last will be one of my top books for 2014.  I actually had to good fortune to meet Simon Sinek earlier this week and hear him speak from the stage.

I can tell you this much, Sinek is the real deal.  In a crowded hotel lobby, he gave me his undivided attention and made me feel like the only one in the room.  He practices what he preaches and is consistent with his message.

Pulling from his highly viewed TEDTalk video, “People don’t buy into what you do, they buy into why you do it,”  (Tweet This / Post to LinkedIn) Leaders Eat Last will fill you in on the “why” that leaders use to lead.

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Barry Smith  3/6/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Leaders Eat Last – Part 1; The Forces That Keep Us Safe appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I have to admit that, compared to the rest of the world, I have had it pretty easy during my 48+ years on this planet.  I have always had my needs met and have had more than my share of wants.  I used to take this for granted but after spending a week in Guatemala last June, I realized how blessed I have been.

As much as I appreciate my good fortune, my reflection on my life has helped me to understand that I allowed that blessing to be a crutch at the same time.  I never really felt a sense of urgency growing up.  I never got into that mental or emotional state of despair that some would consider a place of urgency.

Because of that, I have struggled to apply a sense of urgency to really, much of anything in my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I have faced deadlines and situations where the pressure was on, but I always saw a path to the end.  I never realized how this was setting me up for failure.   Maybe failure is the wrong word here, but I have gone through most of my life assuming that things will simply work out and they usually did.

“We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential.” – Eric Hoffer  (Tweet This / Post to LinkedIn)

The real impact in this is that complacency and mediocrity, the status quo, became an acceptable outcome for me.  If you know me, you know that I have always had a strong work ethic and have accomplished quite a bit in my lifetime.  That being said, the idea of “Proactive Urgency” that Keiper describes in great detail was never part of my game plan and I realize now how much more I could have accomplished.  Never too late to learn, right!

In this, the first of three posts, I want to offer up Keiper’s thought provoking take on the idea of Proactive Urgency.  Keiper ends each of the 17 chapters with an “Urgency Rule” and I want to highlight a few to set the frame for the rest of the book.

Urgency Rule #1 – Proactive urgency is purposeful, insistent, committed action pursued with a passionate edge.  It is an activist choice to access your deepest personal power for the creation of almost immediate transformation.

What would be on your list of items that you are purposeful in, insistent upon and committed to?  All I can say is I need a bigger list!

Urgency Rule #4 – The world has changed.  Our long-trusted external support systems are weakening.  Self-reliance in thought and action is critical for reaching your most important objectives.

Based on current statistics, the things that we could once depend on – work, family, education and religion are becoming diluted in today’s cyber-world.  Unfortunately, our ability to find strength in those items is becoming more difficult.  These were once the foundation of our existence and now they have become, for many, simply things that fit in when we have time.

Urgency Rule #6 – Choosing to act with on-demand urgency yields continuous, incremental advantages.  Think of pro-urgency as your edge in a competition – your life where winning by fractions always matters.

It’s true, the difference between winning and losing or success and failure in often found in the minor details.  The smallest of details do matter.  Just ask an Olympic swimmer or downhill racer.  A sense of urgency might just give you the advantage that makes the difference.

The question: Who do you know that displays this “Proactive Urgency” in their life that has resulted in success?

The challenge:  Go talk to them and find out how they use it and how you can apply the same principles in your life.

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Barry Smith  2/5/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post The Power Of Urgency – Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

If you are still on track with your goals – good on you.  That being said, it takes about 30 days to start a new habit or become consistent in the transformation you are seeking.  It will probably get a little tougher before it get’s easier.

I don’t want to jinx the future, but I believe this post will help you through the tough times as you take on these new challenges.  One of my mentors taught me that failure won’t ruin you, it will reveal you.  What does that mean?  What I believe it means is that as you begin to slip from your commitment to heading to the gym, writing 500 words a day or whatever else it might be, challenge yourself to understand what is being revealed in that failure.

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn!

Remember what John Maxwell says; “Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.” You see, failure won’t ruin you.  You have attempted many goals in the past and like all of us, have failed almost as many times.  That doesn’t have to be the end.  But here is the deal – you won’t achieve every goal you set out to.  Sorry – simply speaking the truth here.  I am more concerned with why we fail.  More specifically – what is revealed in the process.

It has been said that; “When you have a strong enough WHY, the how will take care of itself.”  (Tweet This / Share on Facebook / Post to LinkedIn)

So put your why to the test.  When you fall short you have two choices.  You can look at it as failure or you can see what is revealed during the process.

Plan Your Work And Work Your Plan!

Maybe your why is strong enough, but you have failed to set yourself up for success and left out a key ingredient to success.  Maybe the environment you are in is not conducive to your success.  Achieving goals is much more than simply the desire to change or start something new.  You need a game plan – and one that will work.

I think the biggest reason people don’t achieve their goals is because they don’t put enough thought into the way to achieve the goal.  They simply write down on a piece of paper what they want to achieve, tape it to the refrigerator and hope that looking at it a few times a day will give them the motivation they need to achieve it.

The Fifteen Minute Miracle

I know many of you are killing it so far.  On track and feeling strong.  Some of you may be struggling or have already given up on one or more of the goals you set for 2014. There is nothing wrong with the idea of “don’t fix it if it’s not broke” but if there is an opportunity to get better, why not consider it?  Don’t give up!  There is still time to get back on track – maybe all you need is a little more clarity and a slight course correction.

15 Minute Miracle

I lead a group of new members to the John Maxwell Team through a 90 Day Success Roadmap and one of the resources we use is called the 15 Minute Miracle.  This very simple and highly powerful tool almost guarantees success – if you use it right – and will make you much more productive immediately.

All you have to do is break down your day into 15 minute increments.  What?  That’s it?  Yes!  I know what you’re thinking … it can’t be that easy.  Well it’s not – it’s not because you have to actually do it and do it consistently. Give it a shot and tell me I’m wrong.

A simple but very important question for you today.  Have you created the right plan to achieve your goals?  Remember – set yourself up for success!  When you face failure, ask yourself what is being revealed – what has contributed to the failure and how can I change it.
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Barry Smith    1/13/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Failure Won’t Ruin You, It Will Reveal You! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Some of you probably recognize Burg as the co-author of The Go-Giver, but this one is all his and according to the author, his finest work – the book he was meant to write.

Burg starts out by introducing us to the idea of Ultimate Influence ==>the ability to get the results you want from others while making them feel genuinely good about themselves, about the process, and about you.

Burg suggests that Ultimate Influence is based on five key principles that occur on an ongoing basis.  In this post, the third of four, we will take a deeper look into the third and fourth principles (3) Acknowledge Their Ego and (4) Set The Proper Frame.  Take a look at these and see if any of them might apply to your life.

3. Acknowledge Their Ego

• Don’t Shame or Embarrass – Never criticize or condemn publicly.  Always seek to build up and encourage!  Ultimate Influencers build trust and empower others.
• Be a Judge, Not a Lawyer 
• The Principle of Agreement – Avoid using the word “but” because in most cases, it eliminates what you just agreed to.
• Ego Repair
• The Power of Handwritten Notes – Remember the wisdom of John Maxwell; “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” What are you doing to tell others that you care?
• Edification – a Powerful Key To Influence
• Do You Look for Disagreement? – Respond before you react.  Set yourself up for success and find the things you can agree on before the things you can’t.
• Compliment the Uncomplimented
• Caught in the Act! … of Doing Something Right – This is one of my favorites. How often do you catch someone in the act of doing something right – and then recognize them for it?
• “I Appreciate Ya” – When was the last time someone told you they appreciated you?  When was the last time you told someone else?

4. Set The Proper Frame

• Positive Expectation Works, but Not Why You Think It Does – Simply stated, you get what you expect.  No it doesn’t always work but when you believe in a positive outcome instead of a negative one, you will be much more successful.
• Framing Your Influence in Your First Conversation – First impressions, right? Simply make the conversation revolve around the other person and you set the tone for everything that follows.
• Sometimes’ It’s Good to Let ‘Em See You Sweat
• The Ransburger Pivot
• The Value of the Correct Phrase
• “What Can I do to Help?”
• Win by Making the Other’s Case First – Understanding and accepting the fact the the other person has their own thoughts and ideas, and believes them to be true, puts you in the position to control the outcome.
• Help Them to Live in the Solution – The best way to create an alliance is to bring a solution.  Wanting to solve the problem indicates your attitude of working towards a solution – no matter who comes up with it.
• Avoid Negative Framing
• Don’t Fall Victim to the Either/Or
• Persuasion Secrets of a Ten-Year-Old
• Change Your Frame, Change Your Life – Want allies?  Turn negatives into positives.  No it’s not easy, but staying in the negative will never solve anything.

Well, there is a taste of the thoughts and ideas found within this book.  I encourage you to pick up a copy and fill in the stuff I left blank on your own.  Some of the chapter headings listed above don’t make a lot of sense until you listen to Burg’s wisdom.  Now is your chance!

We certainly have much more to look at in Adversaries Into Allies but understand that people generally believe they are right because their beliefs are based on the experiences they have had.  Right or wrong, until you recognize that they believe what they believe, you will find it difficult to persuade them otherwise.  So ask yourself this question – Is it really worth the fight or is working together going to provide a better outcome?”  Win-Win outcomes are OK!

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Barry Smith   1/3/14   photo courtesy of burg.com   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Adversaries Into Allies – Part 3; Motivation and Outcome appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

One of my favorite is “The Santa Clause” starring Tim Allen.  There is a scene in the movie where Allen is at the North Pole and tells one of the elves; “I see it, but I don’t believe it.”  She replies; “You’re missing the point, seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing.”

I have seen so many blogs written about goal setting and New Year’s resolutions.  Hey, nothing wrong with that and most of them if applied and followed will no doubt, net positive results.  I want to put a little different spin on it.

I think that most people fail at reaching their goals because they need to see them to believe them.  What is we believed they would come true before even beginning that “Day 1” activity.  I don’t know if this is true or not but I have heard one of my mentors refer to January 10th as National Quit Day.  The average day that most people quit their New Year’s Resolutions.

For the sake of this post, I will assume this is true.  Why do most people quit less than two weeks into what they saw as their goal for the new year?  Simple, if you buy what I am selling – they have not seen any change and therefore don’t believe it will come true.  End of story!

I am taking a little different approach this year.  I have my goals and a plan to achieve them, but I have simply accepted the fact that they will happen.  This may sound a little far fetched and that’s OK.  My mentor John Maxwell, once told me that; “What other people are saying about you is none of your business.”  Good advice as far as I am concerned.

So I am sure you would like to know how this works.  Well, here is my take.  I have been working hard on building my business for over two years and I am seeing the results of doing the things that required believing before seeing.  I am not going to pretend that my own self-limiting beliefs have not taken me to some lows along the way, but I do believe.

I know that there will always be bad with the good, but accepting that allows me to move past the challenges knowing that they will always exist.  Believing that good will happen and then watching it happen reinforces my belief that this will be my best year ever.

If you think about it, there are many things in life that really require believing before seeing.  Things like love, joy, peace and happiness.  Really, put this to the test – if you get up in the morning believing that you are going to have a great day, you will.  If you wait to see something good happen before you put a smile on your face … well, good luck with that!

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.” – Henry Ford (Tweet This / Share on Facebook)

My hope for you today, and really the rest of this year, is that you can find some truth in the idea that believing is seeing.  So a simple question for you to ponder today; “What do you believe will happen this year?”  

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Click here to get a copy of my Kindle Book “The Manifesto Of An Influential Leader”

Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page. 

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Barry Smith  1/2/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Believing Is Seeing – What Do You Believe 2014 Holds For You? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Some of you probably recognize Burg as the co-author of The Go-Giver, but this one is all his and according to the author, his finest work – the book he was meant to write.

Burg starts out by introducing us to the idea of Ultimate Influence ==>the ability to get the results you want from others while making them feel genuinely good about themselves, about the process, and about you.

Burg suggests that Ultimate Influence is based on five key principles that occur on an ongoing basis.  In this post, the second of four, we will take a deeper look into the first two principles (1) Control Your Emotions and (2) Understand the Clash of Belief Systems.  Take a look at these and see if any of them might apply to your life.

1.  CONTROL YOUR OWN EMOTIONS

• Responding Versus Reacting – I love this one!  Responding is how you stay in control.  React, and you are letting the other person control the outcome.  How is that working out?
• Effectively Handle Verbal Attacks
• Make Calm Your Default Setting – What if you could actually accomplish this? Have you ever noticed that when they get louder, so do you?  It does work in reverse – when was the last time you tried that?
• Overcome Anger
• The Persuasive Power of Positive Detachment
• Think Before You Speak
• Agree to Disagree – What would the world be like if everyone thought the same and agreed on everything?  Sometimes agreeing to disagree is the best way forward.
• Consider the Source

2.  UNDERSTAND THE CLASH OF BELIEF SYSTEMS

• Belief Systems – the Problems and the Solution – There is some great insight here. People’s beliefs are created largely due to what they have experienced in their life. Expecting someone to agree with you, just because you think you are right, is like expecting them to abandon everything they have ever known.
• “How Would You Define …?”
• Accept the Responsibility for Communication
• The Importance of Conscious Awareness – You know that I am a big awareness fan.  When you are consciously aware, you can use all the information you have to create and communicate a thought.  Isn’t that a better option that what you “have always done or said?”
• Personal or Not?  How Do You Know?
• Love Languages from Liberty the Cat
• First, Know the Issue.  Then, Choose the Words
• The Answer?  Based on What Information? – Better the question, better the answer right?  It works the same when making decisions.  Better the information, better the answer.  Have you ever tried to complete a puzzle without all the pieces?
• Perceptual Realities Equal Different Conclusions
• Change Your Non-Serving Beliefs to Be More Productive

Well, there is a taste of the thoughts and ideas found within this book.  I encourage you to pick up a copy and fill in the stuff I left blank on your own.  Some of the chapter headings listed above don’t make a lot of sense until you listen to Burg’s wisdom.  Now is your chance!

We certainly have much more to look at in Adversaries Into Allies but let me leave you with this question today; “If you stayed in control and recognized that other people can believe what you believe, but simply think about it a little differently, that it might just make sense to work with them instead of against them?”  Just a thought!

***********************************************************************

Click here to get a copy of my Kindle Book “The Manifesto Of An Influential Leader”

Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page. 

Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page

Barry Smith   12/12/13   photo courtesy of burg.com   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Adversaries Into Allies – Part 2; Staying In Control appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.