Simple answer.  START WRITING.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what I write.  I blog multiple times every week, create content on a regular basis, and am already working on my next book project. You might find this hard to believe, but do you know that until I actually start writing, nothing gets written?  I can spend all day thinking about it, I might even have a pretty good idea on what to write.  But until I start pounding the keyboard, nothing gets done.

You have to Start before you can Finish!

I think there are a lot of similarities between this thought on writing and just about anything else you might want to achieve.  We have to START.  At some point in time, we need to decide that we are done getting ready and just go for it.

There are also similarities on what happens after you start.  I have found that in writing, it is only after you start writing the words that the story really starts to come to life.  One thought leads to another and “whaddayaknow” a few months later you have a book.

It’s no different in anything else.  You want to lose 30 pounds?  Well, you have to lose one before you can lose the other twenty-nine.  You want to make a million dollars? You have to make one before you make the other … you get the picture!

The Power of Knowledge comes through Action.

The point is, you have to START.  If you are reading this, I will make the assumption that you are fairly well educated and have acquired a significant amount of knowledge over the years.  But what are you doing with that knowledge?  I used to think knowledge was power.  NOT!  The power of knowledge does not come from simply possessing it, you must act upon it.

This gap between what we know and what we do is the gap that will lead us not only to success, but to significance.  Everyday should be a day of closing that gap.  But it takes action.  Yoda said it best; “There is no try, there is only do and do not.” [Tweet This]  So which is it going to be?

In order to close the gap we need to “DO.”  The way we do anything is to START.  I have found that it is much easier to start something small as compared to something big.  It much less intimidating and much easier to achieve.  I have seen so many people take on large tasks and fail because they did not identify the small steps along the way.

Every Great Accomplishment has been Achieved One Step at a Time.

Writing is a great example.  The idea of writing a book may seem too much for you to ever accomplish.  But how about a chapter, better yet a paragraph and if you still think it’s too much, just write out a sentence.  To my knowledge, there are no books out there that were not written “one letter” at a time.

Today’s Challenge:  Choose something in your life that you want to do but have been putting off because “it’s just to big” and break it down into small steps and START. That is how you will close the gap between what you know and what you do.

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Barry Smith  5/23/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Closing The Gap Between What You Know And What You Do appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I’m not big into playing the blame game, but because I am in the group that I hold partially responsible for the predicament we are in, I will go ahead and bring it up.  If you are in your 40’s or 50’s, you (we) may have dropped the ball when it comes to the influence we had on the 20 and 30 somethings.

Admittedly I am speaking in broad generalities here, but nonetheless, somebody fell short in teaching leadership skills to the millennials and seeing how we raised them, I guess that makes it us.  Enough said on that, it’s time to look forward and not back.

In my travels to Orlando and Las Vegas over the last three weeks, I encountered two 22 year olds that really impressed me.  This will be a two part post to introduce you to a couple of kids (I can say that because my own kids are 21 and 23) that proved to me that we will indeed, have some solid individuals taking care of us one day.

Sometimes I just walk and think.

Let me introduce you to Ben.  Ben works as a server at the Hard Rock Cafe in Las Vegas.  My wife Michelle, was in some classes so I decided to do what I sometimes do, go walk and think.  If you ever have been on the Las Vegas strip, you know how hard it can be to think.  I decided to stop and get some lunch and Hard Rock seemed to be as good of a choice as any.

I got seated and then this younger guy comes over to me and sits down at my table and says “Hi, I’m Ben, what can I get for you.”  His demeanor alone, told me that he was an A game player.  Very self confident and looked me right in the eye when he spoke to me.  You don’t always see that anymore.

He made me feel like I was the only guy in the place.

He was busy, but made it a point to check in on me every time he went by my table.  I was by myself and I am sure he knew that I was not going to be a big ticket item in his section, but he continued to treat me like I was the only guy sitting out on the patio.  I am alwys intrigued by these young “go-getters” and I struck up a conversation with him.  I wanted to know what made this guy tick.

Turns out that his family had a restaurant back in New York that he started working at when he was 16.  Seven months ago he headed west in search of among other things, some nicer weather.  I asked how he got such a good job so quickly being a newbie in town and his response told the whole story.

He had filled out the on-line application for Hard Rock but knew that a face-to-face meeting could make a bigger difference in getting the job.  He intentionally wandered  into Hard Rock one day and was able to speak with a manager.  The manager was immediately impressed and he had his second interview during the same visit.

Shortly thereafter, he was invited for a third interview and a week later was going through orientation.  So what is the point of all this?  Well to me, it’s pretty simple.  Ben decided to happen to life and not wait for life to happen to him.  (Tweet This)  I wonder how many other applications sat on a hard drive while the applicants sat on their couch waiting for a call.

I will never forget that meal.

Ben said he loves the interaction with his customers as much as any part of his job and his actions definitely supported that.  I think most would agree that going out to eat is more about the experience than the meal and Ben made mine memorable.

At only 22, I asked him what he wanted to eventually do, what were his big aspirations?  His response; he wants to eventually get into fine dining.  I didn’t think about it at the time but I would guess it is partially because he will have the opportunity to make someone’s night out a memorable experience that won’t soon be forgotten.

My guess – Ben will be exceeding expectations in some really nice dining establishment someday and probably sooner than later.  Ben was one of those individuals that you can just tell will achieve his dreams.  Ben, at 22, was leading by example in his respective industry, and making a difference in the lives of those he serves.

THE QUESTION:  Do you have clarity on what it is that you want to achieve?

THE CHALLENGE:  Do something today that will get you one step closer to reaching that dream.

Later this week I will introduce you to Stephanie, who works in the world’s largest Marriott.

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Barry Smith  3/11/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Raising The Bar For Generation Y – Part 1 appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

In Part two of The Power of Urgency, Keiper takes a deep look into the idea of Playing to Win with The Power of Urgency.

“Your current state is a perfect reflection of your prior decisions.” – William Keiper  (Tweet This / Post to LinkedIn)

In this, the final of three posts, I want to offer up Keiper’s thought provoking take on the idea of Proactive Urgency.  Keiper ends each of the 17 chapters with an “Urgency Rule” and I want to highlight a few to set the frame for Part 2 of the book.

Urgency Rule #12 – A purposeful commitment to acting with pro-urgency is a sustained, continuously renewed promise manifested in your bold actions.  This ongoing promise leaves no room for fakery, conformity or false consensus.

I love this quote from Keiper, “The path of least resistance will always be crowded with those who occupy half-numb, half-lived lives.”  Commitment never follows the path of least resistance.  Commitment will require you to step outside of your comfort zone and do the things you have never done before to become someone you have never been before.

Urgency Rule #14 – An initial decision, no matter how good, immediately becomes a prospect for an adaptive decision based upon new inputs.  Be the best challenger of your own decisions.

How often do you challenge your own decisions?  Be honest!  In almost everything we do, we can do better.  There are very few decisions that we make in life that would not benefit from asking these challenging questions:

• What do I need to start?
• What do I need to stop?
• What do I need to do more of?
• What do I need to do less of?
• What am I missing?

If we made better decisions and became just 1% more productive each week, we would increase our productivity by more that 50% every year.

Urgency Rule #17 – Proactive urgency is personal.  If pursued with clarity and commitment, it will transform your work, your life and the lives of those around you.

There is that word clarity again.  If you have heard me speak, you know how important I believe clarity is in everything we do.  Lack of clarity brings confusion and lack of focus. Focus is what keeps you on the right path.  Knowing where you are and where you are headed are the keys to getting there.

The question:  Have you really committed to reaching your goals or are you still playing small and working through the path of least resistance?

The challenge:  Choose a goal you are working towards and fully commit.  If you are not struggling, you are not growing.

• Read Part 1 by clicking here
• Read Part 2 by clicking here

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Barry Smith  2/27/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post The Power Of Urgency – Leveraged Action appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

There is huge added value for an incredible team, and of course teaching from John himself.  This will be my fifth trip to the event and I will be joining about 200 of my returning friends and colleagues.  In addition to them will be over 400 that will be attending for the first time.

I have been watching the posts over the last month reading about the excitement, anticipation and even a little bit of fear. John Maxwell has taught is that if you want to do something you’ve never done before, you need to become someone you’ve never been before. (Tweet This / Post to LinkedIn)

That’s a pretty powerful statement if you ask me.  Many of my teammates were already coaches, speakers, or trainers when they joined the team.  For many others, these are areas they may have never explored before and were simply drawn to the team because of the focus on leadership and access to John’s wealth of knowledge on the subject.

You know I love questions!  As my own level of awareness has increased over the last few years, I have become much more intrigued with the answers as well.  There are always many questions at the live training event and I want to take a look at three of the answers that cover a multitude of those questions.

YES, AND …

Life is not black and white.  It’s not yes or no either.  I have experienced the value of taking a yes or no question a step further.  Let’s face it – yes might be the right answer, but is it the best answer?  I have found that yes can almost always be followed up with “and.”  The “and” is the opportunity to add clarity.

And as far as I am concerned, we can always use more clarity.  So the next time you answer “yes” – see if putting an “and” after it can get a better answer.

IT DEPENDS

Well many times it does depend.  “It depends” is a way to force a better question.  It forces you to add some clarity in the question itself.  A better question will always result in a better answer.

Our culture has put us into an immediate gratification mindset and when you think about it, all this has done is create an environment in which we grab the first response that moves us forward.  The problem is, that sometimes that forward is in the wrong direction.  Make sure you know what it “depends on” before moving on.

JUMP, AND BUILD YOUR WINGS ON THE WAY DOWN!

I love this one.  It has all but become the mantra of the John Maxwell Team.  So many of us let fear hold us back, and not only from the things we want to do, but from the things we were meant to do.  I’m not suggesting we be irresponsible and take action without thinking first.  I’m suggesting that you think first and then take action, even when it scares you.  Like I said earlier, the only way we can do things sometimes, is to DO IT AFRAID!

Dieter Jansen, one of my teammates that I recently took through our 90 Day Success Roadmap program, posted this earlier today as he prepared to head north from Capetown, South Africa:

“Never been to a live event, never been to a think tank. I have so many questions. But being confused is OK once you get used to it. You meet such nice people along the way…”

How beautiful is that!  What a great attitude!  Isn’t amazing how things can change just from adding a little positive perspective and suspending the need to know how.  Those are the words from someone willing to step outside their comfort zone.  My prediction for Dieter … Success!

The Question:  What question did you answer recently with “yes” and yes was only the right answer?

The Challenge:  Re-visit that answer and add the “AND”

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Click here to get a copy of my Kindle Book “The Manifesto Of An Influential Leader”

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Barry Smith  2/17/14   image by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Are You Really Answering The Question? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I have to admit that, compared to the rest of the world, I have had it pretty easy during my 48+ years on this planet.  I have always had my needs met and have had more than my share of wants.  I used to take this for granted but after spending a week in Guatemala last June, I realized how blessed I have been.

As much as I appreciate my good fortune, my reflection on my life has helped me to understand that I allowed that blessing to be a crutch at the same time.  I never really felt a sense of urgency growing up.  I never got into that mental or emotional state of despair that some would consider a place of urgency.

Because of that, I have struggled to apply a sense of urgency to really, much of anything in my life.  Don’t get me wrong, I have faced deadlines and situations where the pressure was on, but I always saw a path to the end.  I never realized how this was setting me up for failure.   Maybe failure is the wrong word here, but I have gone through most of my life assuming that things will simply work out and they usually did.

“We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential.” – Eric Hoffer  (Tweet This / Post to LinkedIn)

The real impact in this is that complacency and mediocrity, the status quo, became an acceptable outcome for me.  If you know me, you know that I have always had a strong work ethic and have accomplished quite a bit in my lifetime.  That being said, the idea of “Proactive Urgency” that Keiper describes in great detail was never part of my game plan and I realize now how much more I could have accomplished.  Never too late to learn, right!

In this, the first of three posts, I want to offer up Keiper’s thought provoking take on the idea of Proactive Urgency.  Keiper ends each of the 17 chapters with an “Urgency Rule” and I want to highlight a few to set the frame for the rest of the book.

Urgency Rule #1 – Proactive urgency is purposeful, insistent, committed action pursued with a passionate edge.  It is an activist choice to access your deepest personal power for the creation of almost immediate transformation.

What would be on your list of items that you are purposeful in, insistent upon and committed to?  All I can say is I need a bigger list!

Urgency Rule #4 – The world has changed.  Our long-trusted external support systems are weakening.  Self-reliance in thought and action is critical for reaching your most important objectives.

Based on current statistics, the things that we could once depend on – work, family, education and religion are becoming diluted in today’s cyber-world.  Unfortunately, our ability to find strength in those items is becoming more difficult.  These were once the foundation of our existence and now they have become, for many, simply things that fit in when we have time.

Urgency Rule #6 – Choosing to act with on-demand urgency yields continuous, incremental advantages.  Think of pro-urgency as your edge in a competition – your life where winning by fractions always matters.

It’s true, the difference between winning and losing or success and failure in often found in the minor details.  The smallest of details do matter.  Just ask an Olympic swimmer or downhill racer.  A sense of urgency might just give you the advantage that makes the difference.

The question: Who do you know that displays this “Proactive Urgency” in their life that has resulted in success?

The challenge:  Go talk to them and find out how they use it and how you can apply the same principles in your life.

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Click here to get a copy of my Kindle Book “The Manifesto Of An Influential Leader”

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Barry Smith  2/5/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post The Power Of Urgency – Don’t Wait Until It’s Too Late! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

My role is to provide a path to get there.  In other words, I bring the tool box and we collaboratively figure out which tools to use and how to use them.  Any project will require tools to complete.  So which tools do we need?

A conversation I had recently with a client pushed me to take a look at the toolbox I carry with me and figure out which tools are required for any effort.  A few thoughts crossed my mind.  Do I have the right tools?  Do I have too many tools?  Am I offering the right tools for the project?

After reflecting on this idea for a while, I came to the conclusion that there are 3 tools needed to achieve success in any project we take on.  I am certainly not suggesting that these are the only tools you will need but these 3 tools are the ones you better take out of the toolbox before you even look at the blueprint.

You Can Only Get Here From There!

TOOL 1 – AWARENESS

When I speak to people and ask them about their goals, I get all kinds of responses. Some are simply the “one-liner conceptual type” and others are full of detail and very specific.  I love to follow this up with a question.  Where did you come up with that idea?  This is where it get’s interesting.  “I don’t know, I just think that would be real nice to achieve that.”  Or, “Well I want more than what I have now and that is more.”

Most people set their goals upon only that which they know.  They never even consider that there might be options that they have not even thought about.  That conversation I had allowed that person to enter into the awareness of possibility she had never thought about before.  All it took was a few curious questions she had never asked herself.

Stepping To The Line Of Intention Is Only The Beginning

TOOL 2 – INTENTIONALITY

Nothing happens without setting the intention for it.  Sure, life happens but I’m not talking about life happening to you, I’m talking about “intentionally” happening to life. Peter Drucker said; “The best way to predict the future is to create it.”  (Tweet This / Post to LinkedIn)

Drucker is spot on.  If you want to achieve anything of significance in life, you need to be intentional about it.  Do you think the Seattle Seahawk defense figured because they were the #1 rated defense this year, they could just show up to the Super Bowl and perform?  Not hardly.  I know enough about the game of football to know they were very intentional about everything that happened on the field in New Jersey on Sunday.

Who Are You When Someone Else “Is Watching?”

TOOL 3 – ACCOUNTABILITY

You need the awareness and you need to set the intention but without the tool of accountability you are simply rolling the dice on whether or not you will be successful.  I am not saying you can’t accomplish great things on your own but let’s be real.  If you could do it on your own, it would already be done and it wouldn’t be on your list anymore.  Make sense?

The simple fact is we perform better when someone else is watching.  If they are going to watch, they might as well call us out when we need it.  Quit fooling yourself by saying “this time will be different.”  The only way it will be different is if you make it different.

So I have a little different type of challenge for you today.  Think about these 3 tools and then think about someone that you know that carries these with them.  Go talk to that person and ask them how they use those tools to find success in their endeavors.  You never know, they just might make a pretty good accountability partner as well!

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The post The 3 “Must Have” Tools For Success – What’s In Your Toolbox? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

This month we are masterminding through The Men Who Built America, a DVD produced by the History Channel along with Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill to compliment the mini-series built around some of the great early leaders and entrepreneurs that help build the United States into a world power at the end of the 19th Century.

If you don’t know the back story on how these two connect together, Napoleon Hill was commissioned by Andrew Carnegie to study the most successful people and find out what resulted in their success.  The men who built America were among many of the 20,000+ that Hill interviewed over the twenty year period it took him to write the book.

This month we are going take a look at Andrew Carnegie, Thomas Edison, JP Morgan and Henry Ford.  In this, the final of four posts, we will take a look at Henry Ford.

Ford set himself apart from the other men who built America buy focusing his efforts on the people.  He paid twice the average wage and wanted the average working man to be able to afford an automobile.  Amazed at how machines worked, Ford used his vision to transform the auto industry.

So how did a man that began his business career under the challenges of poverty, illiteracy, and ignorance become “one of the men who built America?”

I Think I Can, I Think I Can, I Think I Can

AUTOSUGGESTION

“If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right!” – Henry Ford

Ford Motor Company was actually Ford’s third automobile venture.  The first two failed miserably yet Ford refused to give up.  He continued to believe that he could successfully manufacture automobiles at a profit and at the same time, do what no one else had done, make them affordable.  His vision was strong enough to become reality.  He refused to give in to negative talk and literally convinced himself that it could be done through the power of autosuggestion.

1+1=3 … Sometimes More

POWER OF THE MASTERMIND

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.” – Henry Ford

Ford’s most outstanding achievements began when he formed acquaintances with Harvey Firestone, John Burroughs, and Luther Burbank, well known thought leaders at that time.  Ford realized that not only could he gain knowledge from spending time with big thinkers but the interaction in itself, was increasing his ability to retain information and think better himself.

If Only I Would Have Known Before It Was Too Late!

SPECIALIZED KNOWLEDGE

“Coming together is the beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” – Henry Ford

Ford had great vision but lacked the knowledge, in multiple areas, to make his vision a reality.  What Ford did know, was that by surrounding himself with the right people – the people that had that knowledge, he could achieve anything he wanted.  He continued to do this throughout his career and when faced with the issue of not knowing, simply found someone who had the specialized knowledge he was looking for and added them to his team.

Napoleon Hill said; “Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” (Tweet This / Share on Facebook / Post to LinkedIn)

Hill was right, our success will come from continuous effort and struggle.  The difference comes in how we take on the struggle.  Ford found ways to reduce the struggle by bringing those to his team that could provide the “right” kind of effort.

Here is an important question:  Are you trying to do it all on your own or are you enlisting the help of others through collaborative relationships?  The answer might just predict your success or failure in that endeavor.  Who can you add to your team that will take you to the next level?

• Click here to read Part 1 on Andrew Carnegie
• Click here to read Part 2 on Thomas Edison
• Click here to read Part 3 on JP Morgan

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Click here to get a copy of my Kindle Book “The Manifesto Of An Influential Leader”

Join me on the STOP CHALLENGE CHOOSE 12 week health transformation

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Barry Smith  1/29/14   photo courtesy of Amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

The post The Men Who Built America – Henry Ford appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

If you are still on track with your goals – good on you.  That being said, it takes about 30 days to start a new habit or become consistent in the transformation you are seeking.  It will probably get a little tougher before it get’s easier.

I don’t want to jinx the future, but I believe this post will help you through the tough times as you take on these new challenges.  One of my mentors taught me that failure won’t ruin you, it will reveal you.  What does that mean?  What I believe it means is that as you begin to slip from your commitment to heading to the gym, writing 500 words a day or whatever else it might be, challenge yourself to understand what is being revealed in that failure.

Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn!

Remember what John Maxwell says; “Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.” You see, failure won’t ruin you.  You have attempted many goals in the past and like all of us, have failed almost as many times.  That doesn’t have to be the end.  But here is the deal – you won’t achieve every goal you set out to.  Sorry – simply speaking the truth here.  I am more concerned with why we fail.  More specifically – what is revealed in the process.

It has been said that; “When you have a strong enough WHY, the how will take care of itself.”  (Tweet This / Share on Facebook / Post to LinkedIn)

So put your why to the test.  When you fall short you have two choices.  You can look at it as failure or you can see what is revealed during the process.

Plan Your Work And Work Your Plan!

Maybe your why is strong enough, but you have failed to set yourself up for success and left out a key ingredient to success.  Maybe the environment you are in is not conducive to your success.  Achieving goals is much more than simply the desire to change or start something new.  You need a game plan – and one that will work.

I think the biggest reason people don’t achieve their goals is because they don’t put enough thought into the way to achieve the goal.  They simply write down on a piece of paper what they want to achieve, tape it to the refrigerator and hope that looking at it a few times a day will give them the motivation they need to achieve it.

The Fifteen Minute Miracle

I know many of you are killing it so far.  On track and feeling strong.  Some of you may be struggling or have already given up on one or more of the goals you set for 2014. There is nothing wrong with the idea of “don’t fix it if it’s not broke” but if there is an opportunity to get better, why not consider it?  Don’t give up!  There is still time to get back on track – maybe all you need is a little more clarity and a slight course correction.

15 Minute Miracle

I lead a group of new members to the John Maxwell Team through a 90 Day Success Roadmap and one of the resources we use is called the 15 Minute Miracle.  This very simple and highly powerful tool almost guarantees success – if you use it right – and will make you much more productive immediately.

All you have to do is break down your day into 15 minute increments.  What?  That’s it?  Yes!  I know what you’re thinking … it can’t be that easy.  Well it’s not – it’s not because you have to actually do it and do it consistently. Give it a shot and tell me I’m wrong.

A simple but very important question for you today.  Have you created the right plan to achieve your goals?  Remember – set yourself up for success!  When you face failure, ask yourself what is being revealed – what has contributed to the failure and how can I change it.
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Barry Smith    1/13/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Failure Won’t Ruin You, It Will Reveal You! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

One of the great things about being a coach is that you get to collaborate with other coaches and mentors on a regular basis.  Honestly, I think having a coach or mentor – someone to hold you accountable – is the best way to achieve any goal.  Speaking from personal experience I can say that my results increase dramatically when I have someone holding me accountable to doing what I say I am going to do.

One of my mentors, Kary Oberbrunner, recently posted this on his Day Job to Dream Job blog:

The purpose of your dream is not in achieving the dream itself, but rather the person you become in the process of achieving it.

I think I heard something like this before but it clearly did not stick.  This time it did.  I get this now.  It makes so much sense.  It’s really no different for goals.  When the goal is the goal, the focus is on the destination.  When the goal is about changing who you are, the goal becomes the bi-product of the transformation you go through.

I Don’t Want To Be What I Used To Be!

Maybe it’s the transformation that I have gone through over the past few years in my own life that has brought clarity to this concept.  But now that I understand it, everything I do has more meaning.  And not just to me, but to those around me as well.

In Guatemala last June, John Maxwell told me that; “Once you get a taste of significance, you will never settle for success.” (Tweet This / Share on Facebook / Post to LinkedIn)  Think about that one for a minute!

OK, so why does any of this matter?  If you remember from an earlier post, I mentioned that today in National Quit Day.  The average day that most people give up on their New Year’s Resolutions.  Do you possibly think that the reason they give up is because they are focused on the destination and let’s be honest, how much change can possibly take place in ten days?

I Want To Be Who I Am Going To Be!

OK – Problem identified.  Now let’s get to the solution.  Here is my advice.  The next time you set a goal, use the one you set ten days ago if you want, spend some additional time writing down (YES, I SAID WRITING DOWN) the person you hope to become in achieving that goal.

We are ten days into 2014 and I will go out on a limb here and assume that most of you have made some type of list of the things you want to achieve this year.  My guess is very few of you have written down who you would like to become this year.

I Can’t Find The Easy Button

Are you going to measure the success of this year by how well you achieve your goals? What if you fail?  What if life happens and you simply can’t attain your goals because of your circumstances?

Here is the good news about focusing on the journey instead of the destination. Setting out to change yourself does not really have much to do with achieving the goal. We can learn through adversity and we can change during the difficult times.  We can grow every day in any situation.  It doesn’t matter what life throws at us.

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche may give the best goal setting advice there is.  The problem is that most people don’t get stronger.  They give up or simply change direction because “it makes more sense.”  

As far as I am concerned, this may be the most important question I ask this year. “Who do you want to become?”  How about a bonus question to celebrate National Quit Day?  “What will you do to become that person?”

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Barry Smith    1/10/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Quit Wasting Your Time Setting Goals and Focus On The Journey. appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Self-confidence is one of those funny things.  You don’t really understand it until you get it.  No, not “get it” like understand it, I mean get it like “get it.”  Self-confidence is a process and a difficult one at that.  Our culture does several things to keep you from getting it as well as giving it to you under false assumptions.  Let me explain.

First, the world we live in teaches that failure is bad and that the more you fail, the worse off you get.  If you have been reading any of my posts lately, you know that failure is actually a means to success.  From failure we not only learn the wrong way to do things, but we also learn that doing things wrong is ok because we can learn from those “failures” and build our confidence from the lessons learned.

Second, our society has gone overboard to make sure that everyone feels good.  Somehow by rewarding people, especially children, for everything they do will somehow build up their self-esteem and self-confidence.  Well I suppose it will short term, but what happens when they get into the real world where simply “participating” get’s you just about nothing?

You can choose to agree or disagree with my comments in the previous two paragraphs but the bottom line is that “authentic” self-confidence is the only thing that will provide lasting results.  So let’s take a look at the idea of self-confidence.

WHY DO I NEED SELF-CONFIDENCE?

Self-confidence is the tool that allows you to be you.  Not just you, but the best you that you can be.  We all have beliefs and those beliefs make up who we are.  The problem is that when we don’t have the confidence to “walk our talk” it results in a less authentic model of who we are. Maybe even someone we are not.

WHERE DO I GET SELF-CONFIDENCE?

You build self-confidence by doing the right things at the right times no matter what other people will think.  If this is a new concept for you, it won’t be easy at the beginning.  But continue and people will recognize you as a trusted, respected individual.  Even if they don’t agree with you, they will appreciate the fact that you actually believe in something and are willing to stand behind it.

WHAT DO I DO WITH SELF-CONFIDENCE?

Do you consider what other people will think of you when you speak or act in a certain way? Or are you so totally convicted by what you believe in that you will do what you do and say what you say regardless of what other people think.  Now I am not saying don’t be respectful or courteous, just be solid in who you are.  That is what self-confidence does for you.  As my mentor John Maxwell has taught us; “you cannot give what you do not have.”

Go back to the title of this post.  What would you try if you had the confidence to do it?  I know there is at least one thing.  Did you know that most people have more regrets for things they wanted to do and didn’t than things they did do and wish they hadn’t? [Tweet This]

Simple challenge for you today folks.  Make a list of the things you want to do but have not had the self-confidence to do, pick one, and GO DO IT!

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Click here to get a copy of my Kindle Book “The Manifesto Of An Influential Leader”

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Barry Smith   12/9/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post If I Had The Self-Confidence To Do It, I Would _____________! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.