“The graveyard is the richest place on earth, because it is here that you will find all the hopes and dreams that were never fulfilled, the books that were never written, the songs that were never sung, the inventions that were never shared, the cures that were never discovered, all because someone was too afraid to take that first step, keep with the problem, or determined to carry out their dream.”  

So how about it?  If the bell rang for you tomorrow, what would you take with you? Seriously – does this hit home for you at all? Back in February of 2012, I was at a John Maxwell event and John introduced his father Melvin to the stage and said this; “I want to introduce you to the most important man to me here on earth, some time ago my father decided he was going to live until he died.”

I’m Gonna Live Until I Die

Well at 80+ years of age, Melvin Maxwell showed us what it meant to live as he ignited the crowd of over 500 with the energy and enthusiasm rarely displayed by men half his age.  That experience challenged me to take a hard look at what I was doing in my own life.

I can honestly say that at the time, I was not living, I was merely existing.  Can anyone relate to that?  I changed a lot of things in my life after that day.  I was determined that I would live until I died.  I was no longer going to let life happen to me, I was going to start to happen to life.

I made the decision to start chasing after my dreams.  To believe that I could accomplish things that I had never done before – many that I had not even thought about trying.  A new identity built around who I was instead of what I did.  A new job that got me up in the morning instead of keeping me up at night.  I was achieving my dreams!

Defining Moment In A Foreign Country

Last June, I was part of a team that impacted the Country of Guatemala.  I found out what it’s like to feel like you’ve never felt before, doing something you’ve never done before, in a place you’ve never been before, with people you’ve never met before. The three greatest defining moments in my life were the day I said “I do” and the two times I heard “It’s a boy.”  The fourth came in Guatemala City on June 15th, 2013, when I discovered my purpose and clarified my mission to leave nothing behind.

I have an author page on Amazon and later this spring I will publish my first book.  I collaborate everyday with like-minded leaders all over the world.  I am making a difference in the lives of others that want to achieve the same thing.  This is the 250th blog post by someone who barely made it out of English class.

Getting Outside My Comfort Zone

I don’t say any of these things to impress you.  Trust me, I had many people pushing and pulling me along the way.  I do say them to impress upon you that there is no reason you can’t do the same.  I would not been able to achieve any of these things if I was not willing to stretch outside my comfort zone and do what I never thought possible, heck, I didn’t even think about them period!

So that is my challenge for you today.  Start removing the limits you have put on yourself.  Start believing that the impossible is possible and that the only thing holding you back is the fear of taking that first step – just like Les said.

Whoever said “You can’t take it with you” was wrong. (Tweet This / Share on Facebook / Post to LinkedIn)

There are all kinds of things you can take with you – the question is WILL YOU?

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If that’s not enough, check out this thought provoking video ==>

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Barry Smith    1/17/14   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2014

The post The Wealthiest Place on Earth – The Graveyard appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

1 oz. of Gold from the Yukon

Friday night I attended a “Gold Rush” season premier party.  For those of you not familiar with the show, it revolves around three groups of gold miners chasing their dream to find the elusive shiny mineral and strike it rich.

Part of my interest in the Discovery Channel hit is that I personally know some of the characters.  For that reason, the “behind the scenes” footage always catches my interest.

Now in season four, we have watched the characters give up or “sacrifice” the life they have at home and head north in search of buried treasure.  This season, one group led by Todd Hoffman and Dave Turin is actually mining in Guyana, South America.

The show is clearly a hit, but four years ago when these men left their families behind, they had no idea if they would find gold or not.  They had to make difficult choices and had to be willing to sacrifice what they had for nothing more than the hope of hitting it big.

The “on-site” action clearly makes the show but the producers have done an incredible job showing what these ambitious individuals have had to give up.  Everything has a price right?  This season was no different as they showed the scenes of dad’s and husband’s saying goodbye for five months.

Aside from the pure adventure of gold mining, it is clear, at least to me, that these adventurers are not only living a dream but creating a legacy.  If you are a fan of the show, you know that teamwork has been the key to their success.  John Maxwell gives us some sacrifices that we have to consider when we want to do more and be more when working with teams.

Make Financial Sacrifices For The Team

Most of these people have leveraged everything to get started and to acquire the needed resources to become successful miners.  Decisions had to be made and they all sacrificed the security that they had to become collectively successful.

Keep Growing For The Sake Of The Team

The shows main characters have stayed pretty much the same, but some changes have been made to make sure the teams are comprised of committed individuals that are willing to do what has to be done.  Whatever that might be.

Empower Others For The Sake Of The Team

This is huge to me.  I have watched the leaders face very difficult decisions, yet the vision was made clear and more importantly, shared with the rest of the team.  Each individual knows that they are an important part of the team and sharing in the responsibility has empowered them to work together towards that common goal.

Make Difficult Decisions For The Sake Of The Team

Every season has had major challenges and each team has had to overcome major adversity.  The leaders of each group have stepped up to the plate and made those difficult decisions and owned the results.  Some of the choices made have not worked out, yet they continue to not fail, but learn and become better for it.

The bottom line is this, all these individuals have sacrificed on many different levels, but the leaders have had to sacrifice their pride when making the wrong decision.  They have been quick to share the success but just as quick to own their failures and in doing that, have gained the respect from their teams.

The entire world might be watching on their television set but for these men and women, every day is real.  They have made sacrifices to get there and they make sacrifices every day to get it done.  The leaders set the attitude by being willing to do themselves, everything they expect from their team.

My question for you today is this: Are you asking your team to make sacrifices that you are not willing to make yourself?  Doing so may explain the lack of commitment you are seeing.

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Click here to listen in on October 30th as John Maxwell shares how to “Influence through Connecting”

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Barry Smith    10/28/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

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Dr. Cloud does an incredible job providing insight on why some people get results and others don’t.  Simply stated, when we invest time beyond the boundaries “we should have” we reduce the results we achieve along the way.

Dr. Cloud has taken a complex issue and has broken it down into simple terms that every leader should be able to embrace and implement into their leadership and life style.

This will be the second of three posts exploring what it takes to lead teams, companies and cultures defined by high performance and healthy relationships.

POWER THROUGH CONNECTION

I find it interesting how often we think we are the “only ones” going through a certain challenge.  Dr. Cloud brings some great ideas to the surface looking at how we can not only share our thoughts by connecting with others, but can actually change the way we think.

He states that; “improving performance didn’t hinge only on learning new technical skills or on working on the right plan; it depended on changing the team’s mood and improving relationships outside and inside work.“  Working together, connecting as a team, allows us to do this.

THE GATEKEEPER OF THINKING

If you are looking for clarity on the impact between positive and negative thinking, this is the chapter for you.  Dr. Cloud makes the following statement: “The prevailing thinking patters of a team or of an organization – its norms and belief systems – will define what it is and what it does.”

A tremendous amount of content and information to process here but the reality is that “positive thinkers” significantly out perform “negative thinkers.”  Again, back to what I think is his motto for the entire book “You get what you allow and what you create”, Dr. Cloud shows how the negative thinkers are allowing things to happen while the positive thinkers are creating and making things happen instead of allowing them happen.

CONTROL AND RESULTS

This chapter alone is worth reading this book.  Simply put; “Focus your people on what they have control of that directly affects the desired outcomes of the organization.“  Dr. Cloud goes on to say that; “When people’s brains are working at their best, they are more creative, better problem solvers, less reactive, more proactive and goal oriented.”

He further adds that when our thoughts are focused on things that we have no control over, it actually brings our brain functioning down.  Focusing on the things that we can control enables and empowers us to create the outcome.  Our only actions on things that we don’t control are to allow them to impact us or not.  This is typically a matter of choice and should not require a significant investment of time.

This book has really challenged me to take a look at “what I am creating and what I am allowing.”  I have already begun to shift my mental efforts into that which I can control with the intent of creating the outcome that I desire.

I offer an exercise from the book that Dr. Cloud had used during training.  Take a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle and on the left side, write down all the things you have no control over.  On the right side, write down all the things you do have control over.  Now evaluate how much effort you are putting into each side.

My challenge:  Start moving towards “Right Side” thinking and watch things start to change.

Click here to read Part 1

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Barry Smith    10/16/13   photo courtesy of Amazon   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Boundaries For Leaders – Part 2: Focus On What You Control! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I used to think like that.  Then I realized how much I was missing focusing on the prize, the win, the victory.  It really is about the journey and not the destination.  I believe that real victory comes from playing the game when you play to learn and not necessarily to win.

If you are nearing the half century mark, or older, can probably remember the ABC Wide World of Sports Commercial with the infamous words “Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.”

• The thrill of victory – being excited because you are the winner.
• The agony of defeat – the pain of being the loser.

Is this really what life is about?  I think it comes down to this …

• The thrill of victory – finding satisfaction from your hard work paying off and producing results.
• The agony of defeat – the frustration that all your hard work did not provide the outcome you were looking for.

I find myself questioning the real value in riding the emotional roller coaster of victory and defeat.  Remember that guy who said; “it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”  Well he had it almost right.  I don’t think “how you play the game” is enough.  I think it comes down to what you learn from playing the game.

John Maxwell will be releasing his 74th book “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn” in early October and the focus of the book – losing.  Oh, did I say losing?  Well that’s what some of you call it when you fail.  This book is really about winning – winning by learning from your failures and maintaining a positive attitude while doing it.

You have three choices.  You can win, you can lose, or you can learn.  You see, you don’t have to lose any more. Although I am looking forward to John’s new book, I don’t need to read it to know that learning is better than losing. What it really comes down to is how I respond the the things I struggle with in my life.

I can be defeated or I can push through, get as close to “winning” as possible and learn from how I fell short so that I might improve next time.  For me, it is really about growing. With the right attitude, we can grow more from our failures than we can from our successes.

I know that if I continue to grow everyday, through the good and the bad, I will succeed.  John was asked what topic his new book falls under – leadership?  personal growth?  communication?  His response – “attitude.”

This book is about attitude and when our attitude reflects our desire to learn and grow, we are much more likely to actually learn from our mistakes rather than let them keep us down or hold us back.

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take the rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory not defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Life is much bigger than one single victory or win.  We can learn every day and more importantly, we can learn even from the things we fail at.

My question today will require a little thinking on your part.  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  And here is the challenge; DO IT!

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SAVE THE DATE:  On October 10th, John will be doing a WEBCAST to teach from his new book and introduce the Maxwell Leadership Assessment.  CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE WEBCAST

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Barry Smith    9/21/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Victory – Is It Really About Winning And Losing? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I do not find any coincidence in the fact that I started reading “The In-Between – Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing” by Jeff Goins on the very same day.

An added value that Goins has offered with the launch of his new book is what he calls the “Slow Down Challenge.”  If you have been following me for a while, you know I usually do a book review post on Wednesday.  I am going to throw a little twist into that for the next week.

This will be the first of five posts following Goins Slow Down Challenge.  Here is the lineup that will take us through my next five posts:

• Day 1 – The Habit of Noticing
• Day 2 – Savoring Every Moment
• Day 3 – Focusing On What Really Matters
• Day 4 – Interruptions
• Day 5 – Gratitude

The reason I am doing this is simple.  Goins has hit the nail on the head for what I think almost everyone one of us goes through every day.  We are so consumed by that “next big thing” that we fail to enjoy the moment.  In fact, I would suggest that most of us don’t even realize that we are in the moment.  We are fixated on the destination and completely ignore the journey.

Last month I posted a few times while my son Spencer and I went on a marathon road trip that encompassed 3,700 miles in 9 days.  Now you might think that sort of schedule would go totally against what this post is about.  Not so fast my friend!

Here is why.  Every day we hit the road, we had a destination.  But during the journey, the destination was the last thing on our mind.  We stopped at viewpoints.  We stopped at road signs.  We stopped in the middle of the highway just to look at something cool or take a few pictures.  We even stopped at a closed nuclear museum and spent almost an hour just looking around on the outside.

We had no real game plan other that to figure it out along the way.  The key is this, we were intentionally noticing the things around us.  I didn’t really think about it at the time, but it was the unplanned things on that trip that will be my lasting memories.

The moose that ran across the highway going over the continental divide.  The grand canyon of Yellowstone that we almost didn’t stop at because we had never heard of it. A really cool museum that we had all to ourselves in “the middle of nowhere,” North Dakota.  Have you ever been the only ones in a museum other than the curator?

Here is the action plan from Day 1 of the Slow Down Challenge:

Spend at least 15 minutes going for a walk – around the block, around the yard, or even around the office.  As you do so, try the following:

• Look around (if you’re the praying type, ask for eyes to see).
• Take note of whatever catches your eye; concentrate on it.
• When you get back, write down what you saw.
• As you go through your day, revisit your list.  Remember what you noticed and say a quick thank-you for each item.

So my challenge for today, if you have not already guessed; “SLOW DOWN AND TAKE THE TIME TO NOTICE WHAT YOU’RE MISSING!”

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Barry Smith    8/30/13   photo courtesy of a colleague   © Building What Matters 2013

The post DAY 1: Taking The Time To Notice What You’re Missing appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Then it struck me like a blow to the head.  This is exactly what I have been training on.  Growth takes stretching.  Did I mention the presentation also would be reduced by an hour because of our schedule for the day?  This all happened within an hour of our presentation.  Solution … Adapt and Overcome.

I couldn’t have asked for better results.  Anai was able to work with two of my team mates and they both let me know later that she had done a great job for them as well.  Our translators did a great job and allowed me to meet some more great young kids making a difference in their Country.

Oh yea, what happened to me … Well I ended up teaming up with my roommate, Bob DiGiacomo and we teamed up with some of our closest friends on the team, Bob and Nancy Kittridge, to go speak to two groups at a local fire station.

I was the only one of the four of us that had not served in the fire industry but compensated with telling stories about working close with our public servants.  I was accepted right away.

Some of these firefighters came from as far away as 5 hours.  You can imagine the typical distractions in a fire house.  Bells, flashing lights, fire trucks blasting out of the station.  We even lost one guy after one of the alarms.  Bell and light went of and away he went – fast.

My first two days of training went without a glitch.  Today was full of challenges and worth every minute of it.  Once we got into the exercises, these guys, and two women, seemed totally engaged.  I didn’t have to understand the language to see that there were some real conversations taking place.

One thing I did with each group this week was ask them to close their eyes and picture their children (or loved ones, but most actually had kids.)  Then after about 10 seconds of silence, asked them to visualize the world they would like their children to grow up in and remained silent for about a minute.  This was a very powerful exercise each time and I think it let the participants know that this was not just another “how to” of “self-improvement” training.  This would be different.

After the training the atmosphere seemed electric as these public servants realized their lives had changed and so will their Country and they will be part of that change.

During the second half of our discussion I noticed that a little boy had come into the room.  As it turned out, he was the son of one of the female firefighters.  You can think what you want, but I know it was a higher power that brought that little guy into our room.

He and I had a great conversation for a few minutes and even though we were only able to understand a few of each other’s words.  We laughed, smiled and high fived just like I did with my kids when they were that age.

As we closed out the presentation, I could not help myself but to walk over and stand with my new little buddy and did my best to get out these words.  “You see this little guy?  This is why we are here in your Country.  You have an opportunity to create that world that you saw with your eyes closed earlier this morning.  Will that be worth the commitment to do what you have to do to make this happen for this child and all the children of Guatemala?  I believe in all of you and I believe you will do it.”

I believe in that moment, every person in that room got it.  Many of the participants wanted pictures and some even wanted email addresses so they could stay in touch with us.

I find it difficult to hold back the emotion as I reflect on what happened a few minutes later as we were getting ready to leave.  I felt a tug at my shirt and as I turned around, there he was – my new little friend.  The future of Guatemala with his arms stretched out in the universal language of “I want a hug.”

I dropped to by knees and embraced that little guy.  The station Chief was nearby and gave me the gift of a lifetime by grabbing the camera out of my hand and to create a permanent record of the defining moment.

Earlier this week I posted the following thought … “How do you put in words something you have never done before, that made you feel like you never felt before, in a place you’ve never been before, with people you’ve never met before?”  Today I received the answer to my question.  You don’t use words.

Guatemala changed this week and “La Transformación está en mí” has just begun!

• Click here to read Day 1
• Click here to read Day 2
• Click here to read Day 3
• Click here to read Day 4
• Click here to read Day 5
• Click here to read Day 6

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Barry Smith    6/15/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

The post Guatemala – This Is Just The Beginning! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

The 5 Pillars is a project that I have been working on for almost two years and had a great time with the official launch of “The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership” Coaching program on May 23th.

Why the 5 Pillars?  I have spent more than 30 years in the business world and although it has been primarily in the Construction world, the 5 Pillars philosophy works across all industries.  In fact, while developing this program I realized that it can have a significant impact on your personal life as well.

I will break down each Pillar into three sections, personal, business and community. Any growth or improvement needs to start within, with the end goal of influencing the community you live in.  In this post we will take a look at BUSINESS GROWTH.

For you soloprenuers, your business growth journey may be a one-man (or woman) show.  For bigger business, it may include hundreds or thousands.  Either way, adding value to your clients or customers is the goal.

ACTION

Wanting to do something and knowing what it is are obviously important pieces of expanding and improving your business.  Just remember … all the knowledge in the world means nothing without action.  Plan your work and WORK YOUR PLAN.

ADVERSITY

There is no real gain in life without overcoming some type of adversity.  Overcoming adversity is something we are faced with every day.  There is truth to the saying “No Pain, No Gain”, the question becomes “How much pain are you willing to overcome to succeed?”

CONSISTENCY

Consistency not only reinforces your habits, but also represents who you are.  Being consistent builds trust and credibility.  Lack of consistency creates doubt and fear.

GRATITUDE

Never, never, never forget that without your clients and customers, your business would not survive.  Everyone provides recognition and interest before the sale.  Successful people recognize after the sale.  “Thank you” may be the most powerful two words in your business plan.

EDUCATION

Leaders are life long learners.  Reading, attending seminars, webinars and workshops and collaborating with like-minded individuals are just some of the ways to increase your knowledge in your specific business lane.  What are you doing, right now, to educate yourself further in your field?

EMPOWERMENT

If you are a soloprenuer, where do you draw your motivation?  If you are a business owner, how are you empowering your people?  If you are an employee, how are you being empowered or better yet, empowering others?  Being believed in and believing in others are critical to forward movement.

PRODUCTIVITY

Are you simply busy, or are you actually getting things done?  Busyness does not equal productivity.  Next time you make a list, don’t just write down the things you need to do, write down why you need to do them.  There is a big difference!

DEPENDABILITY

How dependable are you?  Much like consistency, dependability says a lot about who you are.  Being dependable tells others that you care.  If you want them to care, you better show them that you do.

COMMITMENT

Commitment was my choice for my “One Word” for 2013.  Everything, yes everything we do in business requires commitment at some level.  Your level of commitment will be directly related to why you are doing what you’re doing.  If you are weak on commitment, you might be weak on your why.  Just a thought!

The 5 Pillars coaching program will take each topic to a much deeper level.  We will explore open ended questions and how they are directly impacting your life and more specifically in this segment, will allow you to evaluate and understand your role in growing your business.

In the mean time, start asking the type of questions that will result in better answers. When you ask “How can I”  you get an answer that will move the needle.  “What can I do today that will help take my business to the next level?”  Answer that question, act on it, and you will succeed.

RELATED:

• Click here to see Part 1
• Click here to see Part 2
• Click here to see Part 3
• Click here to see Part 4
• Click here to see Part 5
• Click here to see Part 6
• Click here to see Part 7
• Click here to see Part 8
• For more on The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership and to view my video click here
• To view my guest post in the 2013 International Leadership Blogathon click here

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Barry Smith    5/30/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership – Part 9: Our Growth Plan! appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Among several significant points, Treasurer brings home the idea that to be an influential leader, we must influence the opportunities that others are provided.  When we use the resources that we have to create opportunities for others, “open doors” if you will, we are setting an example of what great leaders do.  They develop more leaders.

Simple in concept, but deep in execution, opening doors for ourselves, others and our organization result in growth and success.

Treasurer starts the book off with a brilliant example of the wisdom found in the words of a child.  He tells the story of his five year old son sharing his excitement of being the class leader that day.

Of course Dad wanted to know all about it “… what did you get to do as the class leader?” In the words that could only mean the world to a five year old, “I got to open doors for people!”  Treasurer sums up the backbone of the book by stating “In a matter of fifteen seconds, with seven simple words, Ian clarified what’s most important about leadership.”

The idea behind this book is brilliant.  We all know that most people, when asked, want more than just a paycheck from their job.  They want an opportunity.  Treasurer gives five basic elements behind the opportunities that workers are expecting:

• growth and personal development
• career fulfillment and enrichment
• acquisition of new skills
• financial gain and other rewards, and
• greater access to leadership roles

My take on this is that leaders need to create an environment that is conducive to opportunity.  As he describes it … “Open-door leadership is about noticing, identifying, and creating opportunities for those being led.”

John Maxwell met with the government officials of Guatemala earlier this year and asked the President this question, “Will your people be better off after you leave office than they were when you took office?”  I would add that creating opportunities is not only open-door leadership, but transformational leadership as well.

If I had to choose one quote from this book to share it would be this.  Treasurer is making the point that opportunity should be the focus of leaders and that opportunity attracts and excites employees more than problems do.  He states, “Leaders would be better served to talk about what get’s them up in the morning instead of what keeps them up at night.”

That statement in itself is worth ten times the price of the book.  How often do we focus on the problems that keep us up at night?  I am not just talking about our professional lives, but our personal lives as well.  What if our focus was on the opportunities that are in front of us?

Far too many takeaways from this book to try and squeeze into a single post but I will share one more thought and leave the rest of the reading up to you.  Treasurer makes the point that people want to know that you care.  Are you telling those you lead that you care by the way you lead them?

Treasurer makes this comment, “You know that people aren’t just “resources”; they are the coach of the local soccer club, lay minister at the church, active alumna at the state college, recently widowed husband to a wife who died after a long battle with breast cancer, and father to three heart broken kids.”

So I leave you with this question today; “What is the value of providing an opportunity to someone that only you have the power to provide?”  Remember, someone may be asking themselves that question about you someday.

One final thought … Read this book!

To find out more on Bill Treasurer and Giant Leap Consulting click here

For more on “Leaders Open Doors” click here

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Barry Smith    5/29/13   photo courtesy of amazon.com   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Leaders Open Doors – What Opportunities Are You Creating? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Living a fulfilled, meaningful life requires growth.  One of my focus points as a coach, trainer, speaker and author is growth.  Whenever I address the subject of growth, I always bring up the two components required for growth.  Intentionality and Accountability.

The first two Pillars of my 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership are Awareness and Environment.  Both of these are critical to our growth.  Once we realize where we are and where we want to be and how that journey will be impacted by the environment we find ourselves in, we are ready to grow.

But as I said, growth only comes through Intentionality and Accountability.  Certainly there are many other factors that will determine how you grow and the rate in which you do it, but the first step is always intentionality.

Every time I use the word “try” when speaking with one of my coaches or mentors, I hear the silence on the other end of line.  I love this quote from one of the greatest visionaries in history, Yoda.  “Do or do not, there is no try.”  Trying get’s you to the line of intention, but accomplishes nothing.  Like Yoda said, “do or do not.”
We have to have the try to get headed in the right direction, but growth comes from actually doing it.  Doing it comes through accountability.

Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning.”  –  Benjamin Franklin

It doesn’t matter how you define success, you have to be a life long learner to continue to achieve that success.  When you stop growing, you put a cap on your potential and I believe that when you stop moving forward you are moving backward.

Growing means stretching outside of your comfort zone.  It means doing things you have not done before.  It means facing the failure of not succeeding the first time you attempt something new.  Many people have a tendency to quit when the going get’s tough.

PERSONAL GROWTH requires SACRIFICE, SELF-CONTROL, DISCIPLINE and PERSEVERANCE.  Your ATTITUDE is really a reflection of your CHARACTER.

Your INTEGRITY will create CONSISTENCY and CREDIBILITY.  Understanding your PRIORITIES will allow you to maximize your PERFORMANCE.

COMMITMENT to EDUCATION will help you overcome ADVERSITY and positve ACTION will help build SELF-CONFIDENCE and EMPOWER you in the FULFILLMENT of your GOALS.

If you want to do more, achieve more and become more, you need to grow more.  So my question today is simple, “How far are you willing to grow?”

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On May 23rd, at 8:00 pm ET, I will be hosting a free call introducing “The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership” Coaching Program.

This will be a content filled call that will not only teach you about influential leadership but also about leading an intentional and successful life.  The words in capitals above are topics within Pillar #3 – GROWTH.

This is the third of five posts related to the 5 Pillars that will go out prior to the call on the 23rd.

For more information and to register for the free call CLICK HERE.

To see the first video on Pillar #1 – AWARENESS click here

To see the second video on Pillar #2 – ENVIRONMENT click here

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Barry Smith    5/17/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post GROWTH: You Will Only Go As Far As You Are Willing To GROW appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Today I would define pain as “something that keep you from focusing on your goal. Something that takes your eye off the prize. Something that keeps you from reaching your potential.”

A broken leg, like that suffered recently by Louisville basketball player Kevin Ware would definitely qualify as pain.  Pastor Rick Warren just lost his son to suicide – that would qualify as pain.  Physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, we suffer from all different kinds of pain.

My friend and mentor Kary Oberbrunner in his book, The Deeper Path talks about two types of pain.  Chronic pain and Acute pain.  Chronic pain can last for years while acute pain usually lasts no more than six months at the most.

The point is this, we all suffer from some type of pain.  Some types of pain can be masked with drugs, which fool your body into thinking that you are not hurt.  I am not going to suggest that there are not situations when these types of painkillers are useful.  But far more serious, in my opinion anyway, are the types of pain that go deeper than a smashed finger or sore back.

The kind of pain that I am talking about is from deep inside.  The kind of pain that makes us search desperately for something to mask it, anything to make the hurt go away.  The problem is that the pain does not go away.  We simply numb it so we don’t feel it anymore.  The problem is that numbing our pain numbs our potential.

I didn’t understand it at the time, but for many years I masked the pain of being a workaholic by justifying it with a paycheck.  Sure I provided financially but at what cost! I used to plant myself on the couch after dinner and numb my pain by watching someone else deal with their problems so I didn’t have to deal with mine.  I understand now how that did nothing but drive a wedge between the who I was and the husband and father I should have been.

I get it now, and that doesn’t mean that I have it all figured out, but I do know my purpose and I do know what I need to do to live the life I was meant to live.  Now I embrace the pain in my life and use it to strengthen my desire and drive to become that person.

Going through the Deeper Path process allowed me to understand what I was passionate about and identify my purpose.  Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung said,

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parent.”

I have seen far too many people not living a full life, the life they were designed to live. Now I understand that my purpose is building what matters.  What matters is people and I know that the experiences in my life have made me stronger and now I can help others overcome their pain and live out their life in a meaningful and complete way.

I don’t know what the pain is that you are suffering today, but I do know this – you are doing something to mask it and that something is keeping you from reaching your potential.

My encouragement to you today is to take control of your life, dig deeper than you have before and discover the path that you were meant to take and start living a greater life than you ever thought possible.

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Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page. 

For more information on my next Deeper Path Cohort click here

Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page

Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com      4/8/13            photo by author

The post Pain Is Inevitable, Misery Is A Choice appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.