Sinek, the author of Start With Why, provides a deep look into what creates the most effective teams and more importantly, what keeps them working together, even during the most difficult of times.

This is one of those books that will take you a little bit longer to read because so many thoughts require you to take another look, just to make sure you understood the power behind them.  A phenomenal effort by Sinek, Leaders Eat Last not only looks at the dynamic of the team but of the individuals that make up that team.

What really sets this book apart is Sinek’s unique look at why some people make good leaders and others don’t and the “why” behind the results they get.  In this post, the second of four, I will attempt to capture the basic thoughts of the eight parts of the book.

PART 3: REALITY

THE COURAGE TO DO THE RIGHT THING – Sinek tells the story of an air traffic controller that broke the rules and as a result, saved over a hundred lives.  The point of the story is that sometimes it’s ok to break the rules, because it’s the right thing to do.

The bigger point of the story is that we have created a culture of non-thinking rule followers that use those very rules to justify making the wrong decision just because “that’s what they were told to do.”  Sinek goes on to discuss the idea of trust and offers this great thought: “We don’t just trust people to obey the rules, we also trust that they will know when to break them.”

SNOWMOBILE IN THE DESERT – Another great chapter!  We are the most advanced creature on the planet and yet, have the most difficult time working collaboratively towards common goals.  Sinek suggests that people are not the problem in most cases when discussing our cooperative efforts.

Our culture is so competitive that in most of the environments that we work in, we are judged on personal performance.  This creates a natural condition pushing us to do better than the next guy.  Sound like looking our for #1 to me.  Create an environment in which your people can thrive, and they will!  (Tweet This)

PART 4: HOW WE GOT HERE

THE BOOM BEFORE THE BUST – This is Sinek’s look at how the economic health of the nation has impacted leadership.  The roaring twenties were a time of prosperity and wealth never seen before.  Then the stock market crash hit in 1929 beginning a depression lasting until nearly 1942.  Going to war is widely accepted as the event that pulled us out of that depression.

The point he makes is that like in anything, there has to be balance.  He makes a great comparison between the good times and the bad – at least from a leadership perspective.  The generations that have produced great security and stability have focused on leadership and service, not excess and consumerism.  Hmm, isn’t that interesting!

THE BOOMERS ALL GROWN UP – Sinek takes a look at the three stock market crashes we have endured since the baby boomers took over running government and business.  There has clearly been a shift to the idea that people are as disposable as products.  We have moved away from a strong sense of community and now focus on protecting “what is ours.”

This may be one of the strongest thoughts in the book – “There are smart executives running companies and managing systems, but there seems to be a distinct  lack of strong leaders to lead the people.”  I wonder if the leaders still exist but there no longer exists a job description that includes them.  Just sayin’

Here is Sinek’s bottom line that I take away from this section of the book.  “It’s not how smart the people in the organization are; it’s how well they work together that is the true indicator of future success or the ability to manage through struggle.”  

Read that again and just think about it for a minute.  Does it apply to your current environment?

• Click here to read part 1

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Barry Smith  3/13/14   photo courtesy of amazon   © Building What Matters 2014

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Some of you probably recognize Burg as the co-author of The Go-Giver, but this one is all his and according to the author, his finest work – the book he was meant to write.

Burg starts out by introducing us to the idea of Ultimate Influence ==>the ability to get the results you want from others while making them feel genuinely good about themselves, about the process, and about you.

Burg suggests that Ultimate Influence is based on five key principles that occur on an ongoing basis.  In this post, the third of four, we will take a deeper look into the third and fourth principles (3) Acknowledge Their Ego and (4) Set The Proper Frame.  Take a look at these and see if any of them might apply to your life.

3. Acknowledge Their Ego

• Don’t Shame or Embarrass – Never criticize or condemn publicly.  Always seek to build up and encourage!  Ultimate Influencers build trust and empower others.
• Be a Judge, Not a Lawyer 
• The Principle of Agreement – Avoid using the word “but” because in most cases, it eliminates what you just agreed to.
• Ego Repair
• The Power of Handwritten Notes – Remember the wisdom of John Maxwell; “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” What are you doing to tell others that you care?
• Edification – a Powerful Key To Influence
• Do You Look for Disagreement? – Respond before you react.  Set yourself up for success and find the things you can agree on before the things you can’t.
• Compliment the Uncomplimented
• Caught in the Act! … of Doing Something Right – This is one of my favorites. How often do you catch someone in the act of doing something right – and then recognize them for it?
• “I Appreciate Ya” – When was the last time someone told you they appreciated you?  When was the last time you told someone else?

4. Set The Proper Frame

• Positive Expectation Works, but Not Why You Think It Does – Simply stated, you get what you expect.  No it doesn’t always work but when you believe in a positive outcome instead of a negative one, you will be much more successful.
• Framing Your Influence in Your First Conversation – First impressions, right? Simply make the conversation revolve around the other person and you set the tone for everything that follows.
• Sometimes’ It’s Good to Let ‘Em See You Sweat
• The Ransburger Pivot
• The Value of the Correct Phrase
• “What Can I do to Help?”
• Win by Making the Other’s Case First – Understanding and accepting the fact the the other person has their own thoughts and ideas, and believes them to be true, puts you in the position to control the outcome.
• Help Them to Live in the Solution – The best way to create an alliance is to bring a solution.  Wanting to solve the problem indicates your attitude of working towards a solution – no matter who comes up with it.
• Avoid Negative Framing
• Don’t Fall Victim to the Either/Or
• Persuasion Secrets of a Ten-Year-Old
• Change Your Frame, Change Your Life – Want allies?  Turn negatives into positives.  No it’s not easy, but staying in the negative will never solve anything.

Well, there is a taste of the thoughts and ideas found within this book.  I encourage you to pick up a copy and fill in the stuff I left blank on your own.  Some of the chapter headings listed above don’t make a lot of sense until you listen to Burg’s wisdom.  Now is your chance!

We certainly have much more to look at in Adversaries Into Allies but understand that people generally believe they are right because their beliefs are based on the experiences they have had.  Right or wrong, until you recognize that they believe what they believe, you will find it difficult to persuade them otherwise.  So ask yourself this question – Is it really worth the fight or is working together going to provide a better outcome?”  Win-Win outcomes are OK!

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Barry Smith   1/3/14   photo courtesy of burg.com   © Building What Matters 2014

The post Adversaries Into Allies – Part 3; Motivation and Outcome appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

OK guys (the male population out there), before you get scared by the pink flower on the cover and title of the book, consider this question … “Would there be any benefit to better understand how a woman’s mind works?”

Sure, this great effort by Bethany is going to resonate with the women more than the men, but the lessons Bethany shares apply to all of us.

A Lieutenant Colonel in the Army Nurse Corp, Bethany tells a very authentic and transparent story her story of transformation.  Moving from an identity found in what she did to a purpose driven by who she is, Bethany holds nothing back in describing the deep emotional feelings behind her journey to living the life she was designed to live.

Finding strength through her faith, Bethany paints an incredible picture of how to find joy in who we are.  Not because of our accomplishments, but because of who we have been created to be and how there is no failure in falling short, but merely lessons learned in finding our purpose and reaching our potential.

Like I said in the beginning, Bethany is a friend and colleague of mine, but reading her story has let me see “inside” and to better understand her strength and where she draws it from.

The big lesson for me is how much our self image impacts our behavior, and quite honestly, the joy we find in living life.  I am not suggesting Bethany had a poor self image of herself, but more along the lines what I can attest to from my own personal story.

So many of us base our life story and personal worth based on what we do.  Bethany’s story had added clarity to me that who we are is much more significant than what we do. Getting out of our own way is how we discover that.

Yes, this a Bethany’s story, a story of One Woman’s Journey to Love and Be Loved, but more importantly it is a story that we all share.  This is a story on WHY we all suffer from this identity crisis and HOW we can move beyond that crisis and create a legacy that will add value to all those around us.

I am supporting Bethany this week and I hope you will to.  I understand that everyone may not connect with the topic or content of this book, but this I know for sure – You know someone that it will.

My challenge to you – stretch outside your comfort zone a little, or a lot like Bethany has, and if you don’t want to add this to your reading list, forward this on to someone you think could benefit from it.  You may be the only person that had the opportunity to expose a friend to these thoughts that could change their life.  Is that something you want to miss out on?  I think not!

• Click her to go to Bethany’s Website
• Click her to support Bethany on Facebook
• Click her to purchase “Cherished” on Amazon

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Barry Smith    9/19/13   photo courtesy of acherishedwoman   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Cherished – One Woman’s Journey To Love And Be Loved appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I think that teamwork is successful when the team’s vision and goals are in alignment.  My son Spencer and I have a few days left on our marathon camping trip throughout the upper western part of the United States and each night we stay at a KOA (Kampground Of America).

One we stayed at in Wyoming only had about twenty sites occupied and it appeared that there were just a few people running the operation.  Others like at Mt. Rushmore and our location as I write this in West Yellowstone, are much larger and require a much larger staff to keep things running smoothly.

I have to give KOA credit.  Each location, although vastly different from each other in age and amenities, has been run very smoothly.  I believe this is because the “teams” share a common interest … customer service.

My son and I work as a team as well.  He cooks and I clean (this way I can eat good food) and we each take on different duties in unloading, setting up, breaking down and loading back up at each location.  We both work from our strengths and have the common goal to enjoy our time together camping.

I was listening to an interview of a professional baseball player on the radio recently and found it very interesting when he said; “the best team I ever played on was made up of guys who didn’t do anything with each other outside of the game and really didn’t even like each other.  So why were they successful?  They were all after a common goal – to win.

I really had to think about that for a while, but I get it.  To be a team, you don’t need to be friends.  You don’t probably even need to be friendly, but you do need to be working collectively toward the same goals.

I think you would agree that we are all part of some type of team.  And chances are, that you don’t really care for someone on your team.  But ask yourself this; “Is that person making the team better or worse?  If the answer is better, then maybe it’s worth investing a little bit of yourself in that person and building the relationship.

Yes, teams that do not get along can succeed.   But wouldn’t be a whole lot better if you had fun doing it!

So does teamwork make the dream work?  Only you can answer that based on the team(s) you are part of.  Maybe you need to ask yourself if you are making the team better or not.

I think I have a new perspective on teamwork now.  So I have a really interesting question for you today.  “What have you done to make the other people on your team successful?” 

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Barry Smith    7/12/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013
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His third book, The Mentor Leader, unlocks the concept of leadership much more than Quiet Strength or his second book, Uncommon, had done previously.  Make no mistake, they are all worth the read, but The Mentor Leader brings it all home.

The subtitle, secrets to building people and teams that win consistently. says it all. Mentor Leadership is about building people and when you do that, success is sure to follow.

I will break the book’s nine chapters into three posts.  The first will discuss the Mandate, Mind-set and Maturity of a mentor leader.  The second will cover the Marks, Moments and Model of a mentor leader and the final will address the Means, Methods and Measure or a mentor leader.

THE MANDATE OF A MENTOR LEADER

“Mentor Leaders understand that if we lose sight of people, we lose sight of the very purpose of leadership.”

• Mentor Leaders put people first.
• Mentor Leaders strive for significance in life.
• Mentor Leaders keep an eternal perspective.

John Maxwell recently said that ‘Once you get a taste of significance, you will never settle for success.”  Mentor Leaders understand this concept and base their leadership style on making a name for others and not themselves.

THE MIND-SET OF A MENTOR LEADER

“A well-cast vision is one that can be commonly shared by all members of the team.”

• The focus of a Mentor Leader is on the other person.
• Mentor Leaders maximize the present while envisioning the future.
• Mentor Leaders focus on Vision, Mission and Values.
• Mentor Leaders understand it’s all about serving.

The mind-set of a mentor leader is on the big picture.  Having clear vision on your mission will require a firm hold on your value system.  Strong values will empower a leader to creates strong people.  People are who make the difference.

THE MATURITY OF A MENTOR LEADER

“Your past has helped to set a course for what motivates, directs, and drives you, or what holds you back.”

• Mentor leaders deal with the past learning from the experiences.
• Mentor leaders forgive to allow freedom from the things that hold us back.
• Mentor Leaders motivate, prioritize and balance.
• Mentor Leaders focus on strengths

Mentor Leaders are not created overnight.  They understand where they are.  They understand how their previous decisions have impacted their current condition and they have a clear picture on where they want to go.  They are able to utilize all the resources they have and their life experiences to mentor others along the way.

No question today, but a challenge instead.  Find someone to mentor you and find someone you can mentor.  A life can be changed and it might just be yours!

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Barry Smith    7/3/13   photo by amazon   © Building What Matters 2013

The post The Mentor Leader – Part 1: Mandate, Mind-set and Maturity appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

So a few simple questions … Who are you hanging around and what are you reading?

Let’s be honest – we are a product of our environment. There is really no way around it.  If you feel like there is more to life and you just can’t figure out what it is, it might be due to the fact that there is only so much visible in the environment you are currently in.

Now comes the hard part – you need to change your environment or you need to change your environment.  In other words, you can be an agent of change within the environment you are in or you can find another environment.

In either case, the choice is yours.  I just spent a week on the Island of Oahu and I saw all kinds of environments.  Most of the Island is very conducive to the growth of vegetation.  Lots of sun and lots of water.  The result; lots of greenery.

I also saw parts of the Island that were run down and it appeared that poverty was in full force.  No bad on the state of Hawaii – most communities have representation of all these types of conditions.  It’s just the way things are.  But it was very clear that some were thriving and some were simply surviving.

So like I said, it’s all about our choices.  Are you currently in an environment that provides INSPIRATION and SECURITY?  Do you live in FEAR because of the EXPECTATION that FAILURE is not an option?

Does your work CULTURE allow for BALANCE between your business and personal life? How would you rate employee ENGAGEMENT and MOTIVATION?  Is the concept of TEAMWORK helping to build MORALE?

Is COMPETITION so fierce within the organization that you have to RISK your QUALITY of work in search of SUCCESS and VICTORY?  Are you RESPECTED for THINKING that CHANGE means OPPORTUNITY?

On May 23rd, at 8:00 pm ET, I will be hosting a free call introducing “The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership” Coaching Program.

This will be a content filled call that will not only teach you about influential leadership but also about leading an intentional and successful life.  The words in capitals above are topics within Pillar #2 – Environment.

This is the second of five posts related to the 5 Pillars that will go out prior to the call on the 23rd.

For more information and to register for the free call CLICK HERE.

To see the first video on Pillar #1 – AWARENESS click here

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Barry Smith    5/13/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Are You Thriving Or Surviving In Your ENVIRONMENT? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Although we still refer to them as our kids, the simple fact is that they are now grown adults and are faced with the challenges and responsibilities that we faced twenty-five years ago.

Sarah and Chris put a lot of effort into making their wedding ceremony unique and personal.  I like that about today’s weddings.  As our culture has changed, there has come more latitude on shall we say “customizing” the ceremony.  Michelle and I agreed that this was one of the nicest weddings that we have attended in recent memory.

As the bride and groom shared their vows, I was impressed, by among other things, the emphasis on commitment.  The traditional “repeat after me” usually spoken by the pastor had been replaced by a more personal touch.  I could tell by the sincerity and emotion that these two were made for each other and no doubt, will have a long successful marriage.

That being said, I make no assumption that it will be easy or without challenges.  That’s what I liked about the words spoken about commitment.  I think that is what makes or breaks a lot of marriages today.  “Till death do us part” has all too often been replaced by “until we can’t get along anymore.”

I look back on my marriage and although there have been ups and downs, Michelle and I have always stayed committed to each other.  I recognize that marriage is something you have to work at each and every day – you have to stay committed.  Here are some of the ways I need to work to improve on every day in order to honor my marriage and my wife:

TRUST

I have learned that for a wife to trust her husband, he needs to follow through with what he says he will do.  This builds trust.  This is one of the things I need to work on most.  Good intentions don’t result in anything unless those intentions turn into action and results.

RESPECT

People want to be respected and this is magnified in the marriage relationship.  Men, you need to respect your wives.  There is no better way to succeed or fail than the respect that you show.

COMMUNICATION

Many of you may have heard, or hopefully even read the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman.  If you don’t know the best language to communicate with your wife, you will struggle to communicate in the way that matters most.

LEADERSHIP

I am not sure how many men would choose leadership as one of the important pieces of a successful marriage, but in most cases, our wives want a leader for a husband.  Someone that will take care of them.  Someone that will be willing to make the tough decisions based on what is best for the relationship.  Someone who will put the marriage before themselves.

I am in no way claiming to be a marriage counselor, but I have learned (the hard way in many cases) what works and what doesn’t.  The bottom line is that marriage is not a 50/50 relationship.  It is a 100/100 relationship.  We need to be willing to give not an equal amount, but a full amount.  This is what will get you through the difficult times and make the relationship even stronger.

I offer up these thoughts in the hope that some value is added from the experience gained from both my successes and failures as a husband.  If you are married, then you know your spouse was an incredible person when you got married.  In my humble opinion, he or she still is – it just may be the circumstances of life that makes it seem a little different today.

Keep your focus on the other person and I believe you will reap the benefits.  Anything of value comes with a price and there is no better investment that in the one who matters most.  Spend Wisely!

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   1/7/13            photo by author

The post Marriage – The True Test Of Leadership appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

Two words that I think describe any great leader are credibility and trust.  When you really think about it, neither of these words have anything to do with a title on a business card.

We hear people all the time refer to their superiors as President, CEO, manager and so on.  How many times have you heard someone refer to their boss as their leader?  If you have, you probably had a much more positive picture of that person.  Think about it … to say someone is your leader defines the person.  To say they are a manager or even the president merely defines the position.

Here are five ways that leaders separate themselves from managers:

1.  LEADERS SEE THE BIG PICTURE

A leader recognizes and understands all the things that impact his circle of influence.  It is not just about their department or their project.  The big picture goes well beyond today and long term results are part of each decision.

2.  LEADERS THINK BEYOND THE THINGS THEY ARE DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR

It is not just about their department or their project.  A leader recognizes that every decision made can affect the entire organization and understands the negative implications of tunnel vision.

3.  LEADERS FOCUS ON  VISION, VALUES AND MOTIVATION

Leaders are very strategic and specific in the decisions they make and the actions they take.  They share their vision, demonstrate their values by the way the live and work and motivate and inspire others to stretch to new levels of achievement.

4.  LEADERS ARE PROBLEM SOLVERS

I was once told “don’t come to me with a problem unless you have a solution.”  Leaders recognize problems at the onset and develop solutions at the earliest time to avoid negative outcomes.  They are not afraid to delegate or collaborate if it is a better way to solve the problem.

5.  LEADERS DON’T ACCEPT GOOD ENOUGH

To me, this is the biggest difference between leaders and managers.  Leaders are always looking to improve.  A manager will work under the concept of “if it’s not broke, don’t fix it.”  A leader will understand that if you don’t improve it and make it better, it will eventually break.  This is especially important when it comes to people.  Complacency and status quo are two things that will eventually result in the demise of any organization.

The bottom line is that managers, although serve an important purpose simply manage.  They make sure that all is in order at that point in time.  Leaders have the vision to think beyond the present and work towards making tomorrow better than today and help their people to become and achieve more.

People don’t want to managed, they want to be lead.  So the question you need to ask yourself is “Am I going to manage or am I going to lead?

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   10/9/12            photo by author

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If you didn’t see it, the blown call at the end of last night’s Monday Night Football game was apparently the final straw.  I suppose we can try and look at the glass half full and recognize that this may have been what was needed to end the contract battle between the NFL and the referees and get the A-Team back on the field.

The mistakes and errors of the “replacement refs” had reached the point where the NFL had to make a decision.  Continue on with an inferior product or come to a resolution with the seasoned referees.  The B-Team, in over their heads, simply did not have the experience to do the job.  They did not have respect or credibility to accomplish the mission.

Several thoughts crossed my mind related to what happens when the A-Team is not available and what we can do to make the best out of what we have to work with.  Here are 4 things to consider when dealing with the second or third choice for the task at hand:

1.  Authority

If your team knows that they are not the first choice, their natural tendency will be to believe that expectations are not as high.  As a leader, we need to empower anyone and everyone on our team.  Give them the authority to make decisions and hold them accountable for them.  Ownership of the decisions will facilitate more effort and more success.

2.  Credibility

Just because they are not the first choice does not mean that they are not capable to do the job.  Make it know to everyone that you believe in the team to accomplish the task successfully.  Credibility will breed confidence and engagement.  When others know that you believe in them, they will believe in themselves.

3.  Respect

With respect comes trust and trust is a huge part of letting a team operate successfully as a cohesive unit.  If your team feels like they are being micro-managed, they will be less likely to make decisions and will most likely look to you or someone else to decide for them.  The original idea was to have them handle the project, so let them.

4.  Recognition

Any chance for this team to become an A-Team will come from recognizing their success.  Regardless of the process, we must recognize the success of the team.  This may not be easy and in all honesty, some help may be required along the way.  The bottom line is that they will either fail or succeed.  If the success is not recognized then you will eventually be faced with the same challenge again.

The replacement referees were treated exactly like that – replacements.  If they were viewed a little different, I wonder if there would have been a different outcome.  So what do we do when our only choice is the B-Team?  Treat them like the A-Team and pretty soon they will be.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   10/2/12            photo by author

The post Performance: What Happens When The A-Team Is Not Available? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

It appears we have forgotten that our people are still our greatest asset and at the same time, our greatest liability.  Why are we not investing the time and resources to protect and develop our people?

Tom Osborne, Hall of Fame coach and currently athletic director at the University of Nebraska recently announced that he would retire at the end of the year.  Although most will recognize Osborne for his accomplishments on the field, he would most likely tell you that his leadership accomplishments off the field are what truly define his legacy.

In 1991, Tom and his wife Nancy founded the TeamMates program to encourage and help school-aged youth to graduate from high school and pursue post-secondary education.  A true pioneer in servant leadership, Osborne has always put the players before the game.  In his book “Secrets To Becoming A Leader“, Osborne gives us eight characteristics of a servant leader:

1.  The leader is willing to sacrifice self-interest for the good of the group.

Servant leaders will always put others before their own interests.  The higher they go, the more they will give up.

2.  The leader is willing to listen empathetically to understand followers.

Servant leaders will listen with compassion.  They will make their decisions based on the specific needs of the person.

3.  The leader is a role model – exemplifies qualities that followers admire.

Servant leaders always lead by example.  They strive to be a picture of what they want others to become.

4.  The leader is able to communicate and inspire others towards a shared vision.

Servant leaders not only communicate, they connect.  They connect on a level that will facilitate development and engagement.

5.  The leader’s actions are rooted in principles and values rather than in external rewards.

Servant leaders consistently exhibit high moral and ethical standards.  Trust and respect are two major factors in their success.

6.  The leader encourages growth and increased responsibility in followers.

Servant leaders recognize that they need to grow and empower others and develop leaders that will do the same in the future.

7.  The leader is dedicated to having his or her organization serve others and be a constructive force in society.

Servant leaders give back to their community on a consistent basis.  They recognize and appreciate what they have been blessed with and are willing to share their success with others.

8.  The leader has exceptional awareness and vision – he or she can anticipate future trends and events.

Servant leaders look at the big picture and develop those around them so that their team is able to continue without them and continue the vision that was put in place.

It is clearly a challenging list that Coach Osborne had provided.  As a leader, you have to ask yourself “Am I managing a business or am I developing a team?”  Tom Osborne will leave behind one of the greatest coaching careers in college football history.  More importantly, he leaves behind a legacy of countless athletes whose lives he influenced in a positive way.  I once heard it said that:

“People won’t remember what you said and they won’t remember what you did.  What they will remember is how you made them feel.”

What significant act will you do today that will influence someone’s life that will be remembered tomorrow?

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   10/1/12            photo by author

The post Servant Leadership – Why Is It So Hard To Find These Leaders? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.