Have you ever been really frustrated and were ready to tear the head off the next person that happens to come your way? Did you ever consider saying “thank you” to them in lieu of the first thing that comes into your mind?  I think I can safely answer those questions for you.  Yes and No.

I recently finished reading “The In-Between – Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing” by Jeff Goins. Goins does a great job of describing the benefits of what happens during the ‘in-between” times and how that part of the journey is often overlooked.  It takes focus to achieve this.

An added value that Goins has offered with the launch of his new book is what he calls the “Slow Down Challenge.”  If you have been following me for a while, you know I usually do a book review post on Wednesday.  I am going to throw a little twist into that for this and one more post.

This will be the final of five posts following Goins Slow Down Challenge.  Here is the lineup that will take us through this five post series:

• Day 1 – The Habit of Noticing (Click here to read)
• Day 2 – Savoring Every Moment (Click here to read)
• Day 3 – Focusing On What Really Matters (Click here to read)
• Day 4 – Interruptions (Click here to read)
• Day 5 – Gratitude

It’s so easy to react to the any situation after it happens.  Usually when we react, it is due to something going wrong and us using our human ability to act before we think. C’mon, you know you have done this!

Have you ever been upset and someone and out of the blue, they said or did something nice.  Kind of a humbling moment isn’t it?  We have a tendency to become so consumed in the moment.  But not what the moment could hold, but what we hold in the moment.

In an earlier post, I mentioned a place my wife and I go to about an hour away that releases us from the day to day interruptions that create stress.  One of the reasons I like to go up there is because of the view.

It doesn’t matter where we go or what we do when we are up there, all around us there are things to be thankful for.  Maybe it’s a way to refuel on gratitude.  Do you have a place you can go where you are easily reminded why you have so many reasons to be thankful?

The key to life is balance, right?  Well, sort of.  I would suggest that it is balancing not necessarily everything, but the right things.  The in-between times are good times to think about all you are thankful for, in fact, it’s probably the best time.

When was the last time you made a list of all the things you were grateful for?  Have you ever made that list?  Consider this your bonus challenge:  Make a list of 25 things you are grateful for and put it somewhere so that you can see it every day.  You might just be a little more grateful when you have a constant reminder of those things.

Here is the action plan from Day 5 of the Slow Down Challenge:

1. Today, try saying “thank you” for everything.
2. Say it to the server who took forever to bring out your meal.  Say it to the cashier who moves to slow.  Say it to your late lunch appointment or the call center operator who keeps putting you on hold.
3. Say it to God for every inconvenience that causes you to grow.
4. Say “thank you.”  Don’t just think it or tell it to yourself.  Actually speak the words – and mean them.

So my challenge for today; “Don’t wait for a reason to say thank you to someone. Intentionally go out of your way to say thank you, when it’s not even called for, to at least five people today.”  Do it because you want to and not because need to.

Oh, and by the way … “Thanks for reading this post and joining me in The Slow Down Challenge”

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Barry Smith    9/9/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post DAY 5 – Showing Gratitude Even When You Don’t Feel It appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

It’s a step back in time.  A place where there are no schedules, no telephones, no sounds of cars screaming down the street, and no interruptions.  In all the times we have been there, I don’t think I have ever even heard a neighbor.  We love that place!

I recently finished reading “The In-Between – Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing” by Jeff Goins. Goins does a great job of describing the benefits of what happens during the ‘in-between” times and how that part of the journey is often overlooked.  It takes focus to achieve this.

An added value that Goins has offered with the launch of his new book is what he calls the “Slow Down Challenge.”  If you have been following me for a while, you know I usually do a book review post on Wednesday.  I am going to throw a little twist into that for this and one more post.

This will be the fourth of five posts following Goins Slow Down Challenge.  Here is the lineup that will take us through this five post series:

• Day 1 – The Habit of Noticing (Click here to read)
• Day 2 – Savoring Every Moment (Click here to read)
• Day 3 – Focusing On What Really Matters (Click here to read)
• Day 4 – Interruptions
• Day 5 – Gratitude

The problem with “that place” described in the top of this post is that is accounts for no more than about 8 or 9 days a year.  Last time I checked, there were 364 days in a year.  See a problem?

The entire premise of The In-Between is that we miss out on what is happening during this waiting time or these interruptions.  It’s funny I guess, but we know they are going to happen – right?  So why do we get so frustrated when they do?

Are we bold enough to think that things don’t happen when we are in “interrupt mode” and only when we have arrived at our destination.  Kind of like that old “If a tree falls in the woods ….” idea.  Things are going on 24/7 every day.  Why not take advantage of the opportunity!

Here’s the deal.  We will have to wait and we will get interrupted so why not beat life at it’s own game and schedule these “sure to happen” events.  Better yet, why not have a strategy to deal with them when they do.  STOP and read that again!

I don’t know about you, but I am actually starting to look forward to the next time I have to wait or get interrupted.  Wayne Dyer said; “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”  I know it’s time to change the way I have been looking at things.  What do you think?

Here is the action plan from Day 4 of the Slow Down Challenge:

1. Decide what you will do and who you will be WHEN you get interrupted.  You don’t have to let people steal your time, but choose your response before it happens.
2. Block out time to spend with a person who usually interrupts you.  Call her just to chat, take him to lunch.
3. When interruption occurs, welcome it.  Look for what you can learn from the experience, and don’t get annoyed.  Instead, embrace thais as a chance to grow.

So my challenge for today; “Over the next two days reach out to someone who has historically been one of your “interrupters” and spend some time with them.”  But this time do it on your schedule and not theirs!

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Barry Smith    9/6/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post DAY 4 – Stop And Smell The Interruptions appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

What I have found is that the environment we find ourselves in can interfere with that focus.  When I finally realized that there was too much stuff getting in the way of that focus, I made the decision to get rid of some of it.

I am currently reading “The In-Between – Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing” by Jeff Goins. Goins does a great job of describing the benefits of what happens during the ‘in-between” times and how that part of the journey is often overlooked.  It takes focus to achieve this.

An added value that Goins has offered with the launch of his new book is what he calls the “Slow Down Challenge.”  If you have been following me for a while, you know I usually do a book review post on Wednesday.  I am going to throw a little twist into that for the next week.

This will be the third of five posts following Goins Slow Down Challenge.  Here is the lineup that will take us through this five post series:

• Day 1 – The Habit of Noticing (Click here to read)
• Day 2 – Savoring Every Moment (Click here to read)
• Day 3 – Focusing On What Really Matters
• Day 4 – Interruptions
• Day 5 – Gratitude

If you are friends with my wife on facebook, you have probably noticed that we have had an on-going, on-line yard sale for the last few months.  As I have been sorting, cleaning, recycling, donating and selling all that “stuff” that has been getting in the way of me focusing on the things that do matter.

Here is the problem, and I don’t think I am alone in this.  All that stuff pulls your attention away from the things that count.  Walking into my shop was like stepping into a corn maze at a harvest festival.

All that firewood I talked about earlier this week, I didn’t even have room in the woodshed to put it because the woodshed was full of everything except wood.

“Everything Goes!”  Well not everything but a lot of stuff no less.  I made the decision that no double parking would be allowed in the shop.  In other words; if I have to move one thing to get to another, something has to go.

The stack of lumber in the picture was from my old deck.  I think I moved this more than once to make room for something else I didn’t need.  I sold it to someone in my community who wanted to build a play structure for their kids.  That’s a win-win!

The bottom line is this … if you really want to focus on what matters, eliminate the things that don’t.  Both my wife and I are making a intentional effort to simplify our lives so that we can focus on the right things and not be overwhelmed by doing it.

Here is the action plan from Day 3 of the Slow Down Challenge:

• Pick one task you need to accomplish; write it down.
• List all the distractions that stand in your way.
• Share the list with one person who can hold you accountable.
• As you work, glance at your list and remind yourself what really matters.
• Turn off your phone and/or silence other pieces of technology, while you do this task.  See how much better you can concentrate when you focus.

So my challenge for today; “Over the next week, find at least one thing you can throw away, one thing to donate, one thing to recycle and one thing to sell.”  Not one of the above, but all of the above!

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Barry Smith    9/4/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post DAY 3 – Slow Down And Focus On What Matters appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I made the decision that I was going to get the wood done over the long weekend and as you can see in the picture, I made it.  I actually enjoyed it.  Cut Friday and Saturday and split Sunday and Monday.  I certainly didn’t like it for how it made my back feel but nonetheless, I savored the entire process.

I am currently reading “The In-Between – Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing” by Jeff Goins.  And I have to admit, I may have not looked at firewood the same way if it hadn’t been for Goins encouraging  me to think.

An added value that Goins has offered with the launch of his new book is what he calls the “Slow Down Challenge.”  If you have been following me for a while, you know I usually do a book review post on Wednesday.  I am going to throw a little twist into that for the next week.

This will be the second of five posts following Goins Slow Down Challenge.  Here is the lineup that will take us through this five post series:

• Day 1 – The Habit of Noticing (Click here to read)
• Day 2 – Savoring Every Moment
• Day 3 – Focusing On What Really Matters
• Day 4 – Interruptions
• Day 5 – Gratitude

Now for some of you this may make no sense and for others, it make resonate beautifully.  When October 1st get’s here along with the rain and the cold, there is no better feeling then having your woodshed full.  Like I said, some of you may not get it. This will be the earliest I have ever filled the woodshed.

While savoring the moments this weekend, I envisioned what it might look like in December and January (usually our two coldest months) – 35 degrees and raining sideways or  quite often, negative wind chills.  I won’t care because I will be inside by the fire, remembering the moment I savored back in September.

I think what really helped me to savor time this weekend was I basically had unplugged while participating in my own Ax-Men experience.  Ear plugs, no phone, nothing …. nothing but the opportunity to enjoy the moment that it was.  It’s a lot easier to think when all you can hear the the muffled rumble of a small gas engine.

But the point is this – we try and rush through everything we do.  Faster is better, right?  I don’t think so!  I will admit, cutting and splitting firewood can only go so fast, so it probably helped that I really couldn’t rush through it.  But I learned a valuable lesson – when you enjoy the moment, rather than simply blast through it, you get a lot more out of that moment.  Seems like I have been wasting a lot of moments – but not any more!

Here is the action plan from Day 2 of the Slow Down Challenge:

• Take your time with food today.  If you’re the one who cooks in your home, spend more time than the minimum amount of time preparing the meal.
• Slowly cut and cook each ingredient, imagining what they will taste like when blended.
• When you eat, chew slowly.  Make each bit intentional and deliberate, counting to at least 20 before swallowing.
• As you do, remember to appreciate and enjoy all the flavors in the food.  And above all, remember to smile between bites.

So my challenge for today; “Sometime in the next 24 hours, intentionally savor a moment not only because of the moment itself but because of what that moment may lead to in the future!”  You would be amazed at what is passing right before your eyes.

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Barry Smith    9/2/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Day 2: Savor The Moment And See What You’ve Been Missing appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.