I used to think like that.  Then I realized how much I was missing focusing on the prize, the win, the victory.  It really is about the journey and not the destination.  I believe that real victory comes from playing the game when you play to learn and not necessarily to win.

If you are nearing the half century mark, or older, can probably remember the ABC Wide World of Sports Commercial with the infamous words “Spanning the globe to bring you the constant variety of sport! The thrill of victory, and the agony of defeat.”

• The thrill of victory – being excited because you are the winner.
• The agony of defeat – the pain of being the loser.

Is this really what life is about?  I think it comes down to this …

• The thrill of victory – finding satisfaction from your hard work paying off and producing results.
• The agony of defeat – the frustration that all your hard work did not provide the outcome you were looking for.

I find myself questioning the real value in riding the emotional roller coaster of victory and defeat.  Remember that guy who said; “it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.”  Well he had it almost right.  I don’t think “how you play the game” is enough.  I think it comes down to what you learn from playing the game.

John Maxwell will be releasing his 74th book “Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn” in early October and the focus of the book – losing.  Oh, did I say losing?  Well that’s what some of you call it when you fail.  This book is really about winning – winning by learning from your failures and maintaining a positive attitude while doing it.

You have three choices.  You can win, you can lose, or you can learn.  You see, you don’t have to lose any more. Although I am looking forward to John’s new book, I don’t need to read it to know that learning is better than losing. What it really comes down to is how I respond the the things I struggle with in my life.

I can be defeated or I can push through, get as close to “winning” as possible and learn from how I fell short so that I might improve next time.  For me, it is really about growing. With the right attitude, we can grow more from our failures than we can from our successes.

I know that if I continue to grow everyday, through the good and the bad, I will succeed.  John was asked what topic his new book falls under – leadership?  personal growth?  communication?  His response – “attitude.”

This book is about attitude and when our attitude reflects our desire to learn and grow, we are much more likely to actually learn from our mistakes rather than let them keep us down or hold us back.

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure, than to take the rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory not defeat.” – Theodore Roosevelt

Life is much bigger than one single victory or win.  We can learn every day and more importantly, we can learn even from the things we fail at.

My question today will require a little thinking on your part.  What would you do if you knew you could not fail?  And here is the challenge; DO IT!

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SAVE THE DATE:  On October 10th, John will be doing a WEBCAST to teach from his new book and introduce the Maxwell Leadership Assessment.  CLICK HERE TO REGISTER FOR THE WEBCAST

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Barry Smith    9/21/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Victory – Is It Really About Winning And Losing? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I will be travelling as part of a team put together by John Maxwell’s non-profit organization EQUIP.  The Government of Guatemala reached out to EQUIP about a year ago recognizing that they needed help in creating a better environment for their people that is more conducive to growth and prosperity.

June 12th, 2013 has been declared “National Transformation Day” for the entire Country of Guatemala.  Imagine the undertaking of Transforming National Leadership. The thing that gives me confidence that this venture will succeed, is that the Government invited us to do this.

If you are not familiar with Guatemala, it is owned and run by a handful of families who most likely deal with few of the struggles that the majority of their 15 million residents do.

So why would these leaders choose to do what so many other 3rd world country leaders have not and invest their time and resources to improve their Country for their people?  I believe it is because they are thinking for a change.

On the cover of John Maxwell’s “Thinking For A Change”, Ken Blanchard provides this quote; “If you want to go places you’ve never been before – you have to think in ways you’ve never thought before.”

The most impressive thing to me about the events that have led up to this event is the way this invitation was presented to John.  The President of Guatemala asked specifically that EQUIP train the Country’s educators in leadership skills.  Here it comes … But we want you to start with us – the Government.

This has not been a request to come teach others to do the work.  It is a request to start at the top.  The Guatemalan Government recognizes that, as John has stated so many time before; “Everything rises and falls on Leadership.”  They recognize that they need to improve as leaders if they want their educators, and their Country, to change.  This is thinking for a change.  This is Transformational Leadership.

There will be about 150 of us that will work with about 24,000 educators who will then go and train the other 124,000 educators in the Country.  Every educator will be exposed to a new way of thinking, supported by the Government, to transform an entire Country.

I honestly believe that this week long event will have global impact.  The Country of Guatemala partnering with the EQUIP organization are going to set a precedence for National Leadership Transformation.  This all comes down to a change in thinking.

“When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change.”  –  Wayne Dyer

I know I have used this quote before, but the words are powerful.  I believe the real challenge to this team and those participating Guatemalan’s is not to show up just next week but to show up for the rest of our collective lives to continue to think for a change.

We have been invited to make a difference.  Not just the 150 of us that are travelling from all over the world, but the 148,000 educator’s and more importantly, the political leaders of an entire Country.  We have all been invited to be part of this change.

Part of my commitment to this cause is to incorporate this experience into my first book. “Leadership By Invitation – Your RSVP To Becoming A Transformational Leader.”  The premise to the book as that we are all called “invited” to leadership in one way or another.  The difference comes when we actually RSVP and show up.

You, YES YOU, have been invited in some way to lead others and make a difference in their lives.  So my question today is simple and straight forward.   ARE YOU GOING TO SHOW UP?

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Barry Smith    6/7/13   photo by author  © Building What Matters 2013

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The 5 Pillars is a project that I have been working on for almost two years and am looking forward to officially launching “The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership” Coaching program on May 23th.

Why the 5 Pillars?  I have spent more than 30 years in the business world and although it has been primarily in the Construction world, the 5 Pillars philosophy works across all industries.  In fact, while developing this program I realized that it can have a significant impact on your personal life as well.

I will break down each Pillar into three sections, personal, business and community. Any growth or improvement needs to start within, with the end goal of influencing the community you live in.  In this post we will take a look at COMMUNITY ENVIRONMENT.

The environment that we live in impacts the way we live in countless ways.  The question is “Is my current environment conducive to my growth?”  The first two posts on environment looked at the things that we directly impact or directly impact us.  Now let’s take a look at the big picture.

COMPETITION

Most of us are in a business that competes with other businesses for clients and customers.  Competition is what requires us to maintain a high level of performance.  Working at a high level makes the community and the environment around us better.  Sometimes thinking about how you both can be successful will lead to creating more need for what you are selling.

OPPORTUNITY

Have you ever heard someone say “you need to create your own opportunities”?  The reality is that they are already out there.  You don’t need to create them, you need to find them.  Can you think of some opportunities in your community that could benefit you?  Maybe it’s time to go find them.

QUALITY

It doesn’t matter what you do, you are a reflection on the community you live in.  You will be part of the environment that is created in your community.  Are you part of the problem or part of the solution?  Making quality one of your priorities will help to produce a better overall environment.

RISK

There is risk in almost everything we do.  Choosing the right environment for your home or your business will decrease risk and increase the potential for success.

VICTORY

We have all heard the phrase “It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.” So does victory come from winning (the destination) or from how you played the game (the journey)?  I believe it depends on what game you are playing.  If you are team player in your community and help to create a positive environment, everyone wins.

SUCCESS

Success!  Everyone defines it differently.  I believe success will be defined by the legacy we create while here and what we leave behind.  Making a difference, that makes a difference is what success is really all about.  Many people think that wealth defines success.  My thought on that is “What did they do with that wealth?”

The 5 Pillars coaching program will take each topic to a much deeper level.  We will explore open ended questions and how they are directly impacting your life and more specifically in this segment, will allow you to evaluate and understand how you impact the environment within your community.

In the mean time, start asking the type of questions that will result in better answers. When you ask “How can I”  you get an answer that will move the needle.  “How can I improve myself and what can I do differently to create a better environment for my entire community?”  Answer that question, act on it, and you will succeed.

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION AND TO REGISTER FOR THE MAY 23RD CALL

RELATED:

• Click here to see Part 1 of The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership
• Click here to see Part 2 of The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership
• Click here to see Part 3 of The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership
• Click here to see Part 4 of The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership
• Click here to see Part 5 of The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership
• Click here to see Part 6 of The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership
• For more on The 5 Pillars of Influential Leadership and to view my video click here
• To view my guest post in the 2013 International Leadership Blogathon click here

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Barry Smith    5/16/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership – Part 7: Their Environment appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

So a few simple questions … Who are you hanging around and what are you reading?

Let’s be honest – we are a product of our environment. There is really no way around it.  If you feel like there is more to life and you just can’t figure out what it is, it might be due to the fact that there is only so much visible in the environment you are currently in.

Now comes the hard part – you need to change your environment or you need to change your environment.  In other words, you can be an agent of change within the environment you are in or you can find another environment.

In either case, the choice is yours.  I just spent a week on the Island of Oahu and I saw all kinds of environments.  Most of the Island is very conducive to the growth of vegetation.  Lots of sun and lots of water.  The result; lots of greenery.

I also saw parts of the Island that were run down and it appeared that poverty was in full force.  No bad on the state of Hawaii – most communities have representation of all these types of conditions.  It’s just the way things are.  But it was very clear that some were thriving and some were simply surviving.

So like I said, it’s all about our choices.  Are you currently in an environment that provides INSPIRATION and SECURITY?  Do you live in FEAR because of the EXPECTATION that FAILURE is not an option?

Does your work CULTURE allow for BALANCE between your business and personal life? How would you rate employee ENGAGEMENT and MOTIVATION?  Is the concept of TEAMWORK helping to build MORALE?

Is COMPETITION so fierce within the organization that you have to RISK your QUALITY of work in search of SUCCESS and VICTORY?  Are you RESPECTED for THINKING that CHANGE means OPPORTUNITY?

On May 23rd, at 8:00 pm ET, I will be hosting a free call introducing “The 5 Pillars Of Influential Leadership” Coaching Program.

This will be a content filled call that will not only teach you about influential leadership but also about leading an intentional and successful life.  The words in capitals above are topics within Pillar #2 – Environment.

This is the second of five posts related to the 5 Pillars that will go out prior to the call on the 23rd.

For more information and to register for the free call CLICK HERE.

To see the first video on Pillar #1 – AWARENESS click here

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Barry Smith    5/13/13   photo by author   © Building What Matters 2013

The post Are You Thriving Or Surviving In Your ENVIRONMENT? appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

The first way is all your material possessions.  I have gone through a lot of changes over the last year and done some serious soul searching.  I can honestly say that if I can replace it, I don’t really value it that much.

I admit that the lifestyle I live is better than almost everyone else in the world but that is almost part of the problem. Realistically, if you are reading this, you can make the same statement. The only material things that I have that I really value are pictures and family videos and a few “hand-me-down” type items that have some sentimental value.  Other than that it is just stuff.

The second type of stuff that I refer to, the important stuff, is time.  You may not think of time as stuff, but tell me you have not answered the question “What are you doing today?” at least once by saying “I have all kinds of stuff to do.”

So why am I tired of everyone taking my stuff?  Because the stuff I am talking about is the important stuff – time.  Honestly, “everyone” includes me as well.  Remember those material things I was talking about … well they take time away from me.  You have to clean them, you have to put fuel in them, sometimes you have to clean out their gutters and quite often you need to store them somewhere because you don’t really need them (at least not right now anyway.)

We only have so much time.  My wife and I are nearing the end of a week long vacation. It’s the first one we have taken in a long time that was not scheduled around other stuff. In fact, the only stuff of our own that we have with us is the stuff that we could fit in our suitcase.  All the other stuff around us belongs to someone else.

This has been one of the best weeks we have ever had.  I think it’s because we have lots of time and very little stuff.  I don’t know why we have not done more of this.  I do know that we are going to do more in the future.

We have been trying to figure out how we can do more of this “time” thing as we both near the half century mark.  A lot of time has already been used up, but God willing, we still have a good amount of time left.

Now that I understand this time concept related to stuff, I have a new outlook on life. You see, I don’t need a lot of stuff to enjoy life.  I need time.  Time with my family, time with my friends and time to enjoy the great world that we live in.

Michelle and I have been using this week to plan out 2013.  We both agree that time is the thing we want to schedule into our calendar more than anything.  I know many of you will also be scheduling out 2013 during the next few weeks.

Do yourself a favor and think about the “stuff” that really adds value to your life, the stuff that really matters.  I know that there is not one person out there that does not need to ask the following questions:

• What do I need to do more of?
• What do I need to do less of?
• What do I need to start doing?
• What do I need to stop doing?

So the real question is “what are you going to do?”

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   12/7/12            photo by author

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I will be the first to admit that I have not always handled painful experiences well.  My tendency has been to ignore it and just block it out.  Two things don’t happen when I do this.  I don’t resolve the issue that caused the pain, just hoping that it will take care of itself and I miss the opportunity to learn anything from the experience.

John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth suggests five ways to grow through good management of bad experiences:

1.  CHOOSE A POSITIVE LIFE STANCE

What is your position on life?  Is it a positive outlook or negative?  Through the process of becoming more aware of my surroundings and the things that affect my life, I have realized that the power of a positive attitude can dramatically impact your quality of life.  Let’s be honest, you will have bad experiences.  To approach them in a positive manner will allow you to learn and move on in a productive manner.

2.  EMBRACE AND DEVELOP YOUR CREATIVITY

There is no rule book for how to deal with a bad experience.  Look beyond the obvious when dealing with a difficult issue.  Think outside the box and come up with a new way to deal with the problem and share that success with others.

3.  EMBRACE THE VALUE OF BAD EXPERIENCES

No pain, No gain.  Right?  It doesn’t always feel like it but understand that dealing with pain and bad experiences is how we learn.  Adversity is an opportunity to grow.  If we look at a challenge as an opportunity to learn and grow instead of simply another setback, we continue to move towards that person we want to be.

4.  MAKE GOOD CHANGES AFTER LEARNING FROM BAD EXPERIENCES

We have heard it since we were small children “Learn from your mistakes.”  The question is “do we?”  To take full advantage of the opportunity we have in dealing with pain, we have to make a change to avoid that pain in the future.  Step outside your comfort zone and be willing to discuss your victory with someone else.  This not only reinforces change within yourself, but allows you to help others learn from your experience as well.

5.  TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE

Above all else, take ownership of the experiences that you encounter.  I now understand that my habit of ignoring and blocking out pain is no more than pretending that it didn’t happen.  Many time the pain is caused by my own poor decisions.  No one else is going to deal with it for you.  It’s your experience and no one will take responsibility for it so you better.

We should be in constant learning mode.  Growth is basically learning from our experiences and stepping out from beyond where we are.  Here is my big takeaway from why it is so difficult to productively manage our bad experiences … It was painful the first time and our natural reaction is to avoid pain so we subconsciously choose not to deal with it again.  This quote sums it up well:

I’ve never known anyone who said, “I love problems.” but I’ve known many who have admitted that their greatest gains came in the middle of their pain. – John Maxwell

The next time you are dealing with a bad experience, look at it as an opportunity to learn.  Not only will you have a better chance in avoiding it in the future, but it will make you grow in the process.

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Next Up:  Law #9  The Law of the Ladder.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   11/28/12       photo by author

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John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth discusses his Growth Environment that he has tried to live in since 1973.  He describes ten conditions that represent an environment conducive to growth:

1.  OTHERS ARE AHEAD OF ME.

The only place to go if you are at the top of the mountain is downhill.

2.  I AM CONTINUALLY CHALLENGED.

If you are not challenged, the world get’s pretty boring.  Are you going to settle for complacency?

3.  MY FOCUS IS FORWARD.

Are you in an environment in which everyone is trying to achieve a little more or simply make it through the day?

4.  THE ATMOSPHERE IS AFFIRMING.

Are you surrounded by people that compliment, affirm and encourage?

5.  I AM OFTEN OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE.

You have to stretch beyond your safe zone to achieve more.  With risk comes reward!

6.  I WAKE UP EXCITED.

Do you wake up in the morning excited to see what will happen today or will it be “just another day.”

7.  FAILURE IS NOT MY ENEMY.

Success can’t be achieved without failure.  Are you willing to try new things that might make you better even though you might fail.  Are you even allowed to fail?

8.  OTHERS ARE GROWING.

Are the people around you moving up in the world or does every day look like yesterday with no hope that tomorrow will be any different?

9.  PEOPLE DESIRE CHANGE.

Do those around you want more?  Are they willing to work for it?  Or is good enough, good enough?

10.  GROWTH IS MODELED AND EXPECTED.

Are you expected to learn something every day and apply it in an effort to become more or is the sole objective simply to not go backward?

Interesting stuff in my eyes.  I challenge you to print out this post and put a score next to each item.  For simplicity, use zero points if your environment rarely represents the thought, half a point if it sometimes does and a full point if it does most of the time.

If you score between 8 and 10, you are in a healthy environment and should be able to easily identify the areas you are growing.

Between 6 and 8, you better make sure that there are opportunities to move vertically and act on them.

If you are between 4 and 6, you need to make some moderate changes in multiple areas unless you like it so much that you want to stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life.

If you score 4 or below, it is time to really evaluate the reasons you are where you are. My guess … most days you wake up and can’t wait until it’s time to go back to bed.  Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life?  Listen friends, this is real!  You can’t grow in an environment that will not allow growth.

Today, you have a chance to make some choices that will change your life.  But until you recognize that there is not enough fertilizer in your garden, you might as well plan on becoming compost.

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Next Up:  Law #7  The Law of Design.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   11/14/12       photo by author

The post The Law Of Environment – Growth Thrives In Conducive Surroundings appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I will not be taking the day off from work but will make today different from all the other Monday’s of the year by thanking those that have or are currently serving our country.  I will have the chance to say thanks in person to a few but have a much bigger opportunity through social media.  Yes, I said social media.

If you are reading this, chances are that you have a Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn account. Today is your opportunity to say thank you to all our military personnel and their families.  Yes, their families.  If you know someone that has a family member in the service then they too, are currently, or have made sacrifices in the past as their loved ones spent time away from them serving our country.

I remember when my boys were younger and in the Boy Scouts.  We used to go Willamette National Cemetery and clean off the grave stones, say the name aloud and thank them for their service to our country.  It was an honor and privilege to be part of this but as I have gotten older, I have come to appreciate more and more the sacrifices that these individuals made – not just abroad but here at home as well.

I personally know a few young men that will be deployed oversees early next year and they will leave behind spouses and loved ones who will be left with no more power other than to pray for their safe return and support each other while they wait at home.

I never served in the military but my father, grandfather and father in-law did and I think there are very few, if any of us, that do not have some kind of connection to those protecting us.  I am thankful for the service from all that have served in the past and for those currently protecting our Country both home and abroad.

Regardless of our political views, there is absolutely no reason for us not to support the men and women serving our country.  Today is a day that we honor those that have served, past and present.  My encouragement to you is that you make every day a day to honor these individuals.

We have more power and opportunity to communicate than ever before.  Every day we have the opportunity to say thanks but step your game up today and go a little further than you might on any other day.

I won’t begin to say that I know what it is like to wear a uniform, but this I know, our military personnel are people just like me and you.  They may deal with different challenges than you and I, but they still need to feel valued and encouraged.

Take the time today to say thank you.  When you find out how much a difference it makes, you just might find yourself encouraged to say thanks more than once a year.

TO ALL THOSE SERVING AND PROTECTING OUR COUNTRY – OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   11/12/12     Photo by author

The post Veterans Day – Don’t Make This The Only Day You Say “Thank You” appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

I will admit, I get motivated all the time to do something different, change the way I am doing something or maybe just start something new.  The problem is that my motivation does not turn into discipline and in many cases, I leave unfinished projects or start something and shortly thereafter, it becomes nothing more than a memory.

I think a lot of people besides myself struggle with being consistent and Maxwell gives us a greater understanding as to why so many of us fail at being consistent.  His ideas suggest that when we really understand what it is that we are trying to accomplish, and why, that we have a much better chance to succeed.

1.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO IMPROVE?

Being clear and concise on what it is that we need to improve will help us develop a plan on how to achieve the goal.  To want to get better at something or to get more of something are not clear objectives.  Know exactly what you need to improve so you can measure your success as you move through the process.

2.  DO YOU KNOW HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO IMPROVE?

I think this is a big reason why we often fail at being disciplined is because we don’t spell out a plan for success to begin with.  We decide we need to improve something and don’t define the steps to success or evaluate a way to measure our progress.  If you can’t measure it, there is no accountability to do it at all.

3.  DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO KEEP IMPROVING?

I think the why get’s back to the motivation part.  The why is the reason we start.  The more powerful your why, the more likely you are to succeed.  Going to the gym to have fun playing racquetball with your friends is a why.  Going to the gym the play racquetball with your friend, exercise and get your cardio in for the week is a more powerful why and will prompt better reason to be disciplined in your efforts.

4.  DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO IMPROVE?

The simple answer here is NOW.  It’s no different than anything else, we have a thousand reasons why it is just not the right time.  In reality, it may never be the right time, so recognize that if it’s worth doing it is worth doing now.

My take away from all this is that although discipline is what helps us grow, it is really creating a plan that allows us to clearly define our objectives and to be able to measure our progress.  Clarity is what will help us be disciplined.  Without a plan, discipline is nothing more than a description of what we should have done.  If you really want to grow, create a plan that will provide for a specific goal for each day.

Consistency is much easier when you have a clear understanding of what you need to be consistent in doing.

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Next Up:  Law #6  The Law of Environment.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   11/7/12       photo by author

The post The Law Of Consistency – Discipline Keeps You Growing appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.

There are many reasons why we don’t achieve our goals.  Probably a lot more why we don’t than why we do.  The simple fact is that most goals are not met because we didn’t put enough thought into the goal itself or even if we did have a good goal, we didn’t have anyone hold us accountable to do it.

Many of you have probably seen this before but it is a good reminder of how to set a goal that can be achieved.  It is known as SMART goal setting.  Yes, this is yet another acronym that will change our lives.  Well it can if you follow through.  Here it is:

SPECIFIC

Make your goal specific.  Getting in better shape is not a goal.  Eating better is not a goal.  Be very intentional on exactly what you want to accomplish.  The key to succeeding in a goal depends on the effort that we put into defining it and the development of a plan that will work.

MEASURABLE

Make it measurable.  “I am going to lose 20 pounds.”  “I am going to go to the gym four times a week.”  These are very specific and can be measured very simply and accurately.

ACHIEVABLE

Make your goal something you can actually achieve.  Goals are great and we all need them, but if they are unattainable, our probability of success will make it difficult to be successful.

REALISTIC

Make your goals realistic.  If you make fifty thousand dollars a year and owe two hundred thousand dollars on your house, paying it off this year is not realistic.  Making double payments is probably a much more realistic goal.

TIME-BOUNDED

Put a time limit on your goal.  It makes it much easier to make sure you are on schedule to achieve your goal.  How can you really be successful at reaching your goal if there is no deadline for it.

I know this is not rocket science but look, if you really want to accomplish your goals, utilize the SMART process and find someone to hold you accountable.

My encouragement for you today is to not wait until January 1st to set a goal.  Just think what you could accomplish before then with a little effort.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   10/23/12            photo by author

The post Goals: The SMART Way To Set Them appeared first on BUILDING WHAT MATTERS.COM.