The Law of The Mirror says that “You must see value in yourself to add value to yourself.”  My takeaway from that is that in order to grow and stretch we need a level of self-confidence that will allow us to step out of our comfort zone.

Why is this important?  Well, if you have any desire to be all you can be, you need to go beyond where you are at.  Many of us are stuck where we are at and simply don’t know how to get unstuck.

John Maxwell in his The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth gives us some great thoughts on self-esteem.

1.  Self-Esteem is the Single Most Significant Key to a Person’s Behavior.

Think about this – our life is made up of decisions and without the confidence to make those decisions, we are letting other people control our lives.  I love the saying that if you don’t plan your life, somebody else will and it will most likely be in their best interest, not yours.

If you think about it, our behavior is mostly reactive.  We wait for things to happen and then react.  Without self-confidence, we are most likely going to behave in a way that we believe other people want us to.

2.  Low Self-Esteem Puts a Ceiling On Our Potential

This is so true.  We all know people with low self-esteem.  The words that come to my mind are “underachiever”, “complacent” and “unproductive.”  These words all have a negative connotation but I don’t think they really represent any one persons potential, only the way they are living their life.

3.  The Value We Place on Ourselves Is Usually The Value Others Place On Us.

We all know him … the guy who thinks he is not good enough, not smart enough or not capable enough to really do anything of significance.  I have a tendency to try and see the good in people which although is positive, can sometimes result in my overestimation of what someone is capable of.  I say that with reservation because I think all people are capable of more than they are doing.  The problem is that in most cases, they need some help to get there.

As a coach, I can help with this process but I simply don’t have the time or energy to do this with every person I meet.  And in many cases, those people can only be helped if they are willing to be part of the process.

Alright, we have some good information to think about here but what do we do with it? Let’s start with something simple.  The next time you interact with a  person of low self-esteem, try and do something to show that you believe in them.  Don’t expect miracles overnight but it all starts somewhere.

Believing in someone can possibly be the best gift you could ever give.  I think Maxwell is right that until we see that we are worth investing in, we probably won’t.  This quote sums it up pretty well:

“When a man has put a limit on what he will do, he has put a limit on what he can do.”                              –  Charles Schwab

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Next Up:  Law #4  The Law of Reflection.

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Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com   10/24/12       photo by author