I was recently on the phone with Christian Simpson, one of my mentors on the John Maxwell Team, and the discussion was related to our values.  He asked if I know what my values are.  More importantly, do other people know what they are and how do they know?

Just to see what the smart “dictionary” guys say about values, I looked it up.  One of the definitions I found for values was “values form the foundation on which you perform work and conduct yourselves.”  I thought that was a pretty short and sweet way to define it.  What is not so short and sweet is how our values, and the ability to live by them, impact our lives.

Christian gave those of us on the call, four questions to think about over the next week. We will then have an open discussion on those thoughts during our next call.  I guess mentors are supposed to make us think but these questions require some serious thought and some real honesty.

Here are the questions.  Are you up to the challenge to answer them yourself?

1.  Think of someone who knows you well enough that you would go to them for advice.  How would they describe what you stand for?  List five things.

• That I believe that people matter and that at the end of the day, all we have are the relationships we have built.
• That I believe that life is not fair and no one ever said it was so make the best out of everything you do.
• That I believe that we are the only ones who control our attitude, so if I am in a bad mood, it is my problem to solve.
• That I believe that no matter what happens to me, someone else is worse off so I need to be grateful for what I have been blessed with.
• That I believe four of the most important words we will ever hear are “I believe in you.”

2.  What are five things that are non-negotiable in your life.

• My faith in God above.
• My love for my family.
• My desire to add value to others.
• My integrity.
• That I need to focus on things that support my purpose.

3.  Where do these values show up in your life?

• The way that I live my life.
• The way that I treat others.
• The items that I have on my calendar.
• My involvement in my church and community.
• The people I spend time with and the books I read.

4.  What values do you tend to sell out on or neglect?

This is the one that really brings it home.  The answer should be “none of the above” but it isn’t and if you say it is, you are simply lying to yourself.  We all fall short.  I definitely do.  I think the word “neglect” is more appropriate than “sell out” because to me, sell out suggests some type of intentional act of doing something against what you believe in.

I think it can be better discussed by asking the question, “What are you intentionally doing to protect your values?”  I don’t think I intentionally sell out, I think I just need to be more committed and follow through on what I say I will do.

To answer the question – I think the values I neglect the most are the ones that involve people.  Most of the things I do are good but many times I don’t treat others in a way that supports what I have describes as my values.  I definitely need to work on that!

I appreciate the questions that Christian asked because they will help keep me accountable – just like those of you reading this post.  I used to be afraid to be transparent about stuff like this, then I realized that the opposite is being fake.

If you decide to answer these questions yourself, see how authentic you will be.  Oh, and by the way, I am telling the whole world what I think.  Who are you going to tell?

***********************************************************************

Don’t miss a single post from Building What Matters by subscribing at the top left of this page. 

Help support us by clicking here and Liking our facebook page

Barry Smith   www.buildingwhatmatters.com      3/8/13            photo by author